An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

Today’s affirmation: On this day, if I do something imperfectly, I will remember that I also do a lot of things right. I have many reasons to be proud of myself.  To that I say amen.  Up long before the sun, so I got to watch it rise to greet me with a warm smile. 

People stuck on the other side of the US border are sending their children walking across the border, in the hopes for something better for them. Their homes are not tenable. Whether it is the abject poverty or, more likely, escaping violence, people don't leave their homes and travel afoot, or by whatever means, lightly. One does not leave the nurturing of family, good jobs and a warm home to seek the unknown. They do it for a hope of a better future. Now, stuck in stinking camps, sickness becoming a looming threat, some are doing the unthinkable.....packing small bags, documenting their little ones names in the hopes of finding them one day, and sending them alone. Can you imagine for one minute? Can you stand in that man's shoes? That woman's heart being torn in two? As a mom, I force myself to think what it would take to get me to send my child off into the night. Not in the hope of a free meal ticket. Not looking to take someone else's' job. Pure despera...

The house that I owned before my divorce was my dream house. It was old, not perfect by any means, but it had a great garden, away from the city noise and it was a good size. The dreams I floated for the future saw me in the living room, with the kids and their partners home, a couple of grandkids playing with the toys I had purchased with just them in mind. I envisioned a tent in the backyard for the adventurous, a night under the stars. Food is cooking, filling the house with the aroma of home. Peace and joy are the feelings I conjured up when picturing this homecoming. And though it would be tight, we would all fit. The reality is quite different. Not everyone is home and home is not where I thought it would be. A couple are sleeping in the uninsulated garage (which happens to actually matter this year as we have a rare storm), one will be on the couch and two won't be coming home at all. There are no grandkids as of yet. What there is, in this tiny house of mine, is a lot ...

It is Thanksgiving eve and we are having a downpour. The total rain we have had so for is 0.21 inches FOR THE ENTIRE YEAR! We desperately need this rain. But tomorrow I am having 18 people come for a huge meal. My house is 900 sq. ft. I was counting on some outside access especially for the kidlets. Not sure how this is going to go but I'll put on my happy face and try to make the very best of it. The dogs, who are still trying to kill each other, are taken care of. Scruffy is going visiting with a lady who takes dogs in for a price. That way we don't have to worry about someone accidentally letting a dog loose. I would hate for the little ones to have to watch it. It's quite traumatizing. My boy from Portland is here with his partner and my boy from San Francisco will be here in a few short hours. Aside for the fact that they must stay in a leaky, cold garage, I am happy. My man is joyfully cooking. Wishing you a great day and a wonderful holiday if you are ...

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change The courage the change the one I can And the wisdom to know that one is me This is ACA's special serenity prayer and, as much as I love it, I can find it difficult to adopt fully. It's a great way to live if you are able. I think my problem is that I just can't get it in my head how truly alone I am and how a self love and inner trust is necessary for peace to settle in. Once I figure that out, life with others will get easier. I imagine life with me will get easier for those around me too. Meanwhile, relationships my kids keep getting deeper and richer as I practice cleaning up my side of the road and staying in my own lane. It works. You, yes you, might be laughing or scoffing at me, but I didn't know this most basic of rules. Now that I have awareness, it allows me to let go of resentments, let go of my interpretation of someone else's actions or words, and enhances peace.

This morning I feel sad and a little heartbroken but it’s ok. People will often let you down but right now I have my beach on this chilly, breezy morning. I have my own company which isn’t half bad. I am remembering that I deserve to be honored, to be treated well and to be true to myself. I will do what I need to do this morning and while I do, I will share a little of my beach with you.  Hope yours is a fantastic day. 

I just made a donation to Planned Parenthood in honor of Mike Pence and I feel GREAT! No pressure here, but if you would like to donate in honor of our ultra-conservative VP, who is against the woman's right to make healthy decisions for herself, her body and her family, you can donate here: ****Donate to Planned Parenthood in Honor of Mike Pence**** Planned Parenthood is the biggest supplier of reproductive healthcare for the poor and underinsured in America. Also, I couldn't help but post this: