Don't Cry Over spilt Milk

To say I was a picky eater as a child would be a momentous understatement. Lucky for me I was 5th out of 6 and mom was tired for more reasons than just having a big pack of kids. I spent many a night in front of a plate of uneaten food before she would let me go and, finally, she gave up. Subsiding off of mostly boxed cereal, I started a lifelong love affair with a few specific brands.

As a younger girl Fruit Loops, Rice Crispies (coated in sugar) and Captain Crunch were often on the menu but it was Lucky Charms that held my heart. I ate them well into adulthood. Once I had kids I knew I had to tone down that part of me. Wanting them to be healthy and good eaters, I knew I had to do better. I limited their cereals to a certain amount of sugar grams per serving. So little that all the best cereals were only on the menu when we went camping. To my delight, as much as theirs, when camping Lucky Charms were abundant, as were many other sickly sweet bowls of yumminess. 

Truthfully, many decades of my life were spent eating Life cereal as a compromise for the sugar laden ones. It was a habit, a routine (of which I have a number) that didn't exactly rule my life but was a bit of a compulsion. I think the chaos of childhood led to me loving the comfort of routine; it felt safe.

One day it stopped. One day there was a deep emotional upheaval and I woke the next morning realizing that I could not imagine consuming milk. Since that day, 7 years ago, the only milk I've put in my body has been a little tiny bit to cool an occasional bowl of oatmeal. I have not had a bowl of cereal since.

I don't miss it. Strange how emotions and memories are in charge of so much, including appetite and taste.

What Are You Driving At?

The other day I was walking from my car to the mall. As I walked, a parked car's reverse lights lit. The gal starts backing up WITHOUT LOOKING and as her bumper reached my knee I hit her trunk and jumped out of the way. She looked at me like I had a problem and kept right on going.

I'm shaking my head and walking across the main thoroughfare, thinking dark thoughts about stupid drivers, and approaching the Macy's door when a car that had stopped at the crosswalk started forward....towards me. She was looking straight ahead. I was right in front of her. I literally had to run to not be hit! Reaching the sidewalk, I exclaim to two shoppers that had witnessed this, "People are trying to fricken KILL me today!" They stood their with their mouths open, apparently shocked by what they saw.

Had I had gone invisible? My presence never registered on her zombie face.

I'm starting to wonder if everyone is just stoned out of their gourds. 

Warmest Regards

Baptism by fire or should I say ice. 

Gas Company came out because my sniffer detected a leak. I was pishawed by all but the nose knows. They came in and their detector detected and I felt vindicated.....for awhile. He then went on to check this and that until he got to the meter. The meter was fairly new. Actually looks brand spanking new. The pipe leading from the meter to the house, NOT SO MUCH. He started picking at it to show me the problem and pieces started to fall away. He shook his head. He felt bad as he wrapped the meter with red tape. Yep, we got red taped! 

Now, in Southern California red taped means one thing. But here, when the peaky high in 52° and the low are in the low 40's, it's a bit of a problem for this high desert gal. I am sitting here with layers and layers that don't really seem to be helping much. Boy Scout is asleep as he had his Booster and Flu vaccines and is feeling lousy. I called around and around and around. Do you know that plumbers seem to be backed up for weeks and weeks? And HVac's are so busy with heaters that they aren't taking any of the plumbers work right now. Last year Portland had a BIG FREEZE, with many people being out of power for 5 to 10 days. This year, people aren't taking any chances and are getting prepped much to my personal dismay. 

Finally found someone that was willing to move their schedule around for about twice what they would normally charge for the job. Did I take it? You're damn right I took it. I might have hot water, heat, the ability to cook and do laundry by Saturday......MIGHT. And a hot bath!!!!!!!! But only if the city inspectors work on Saturday. I'll keep my fingers crossed. Meanwhile, the city will be a bit warmer tomorrow and I remain bone chillingly grateful.

Ps. just emptied a box with a heating pad. My tush is warming up right this very moment and dreaming, just a little, of home.

Chesters and Chickens

She waits patiently for the door to be opened. She nonchalantly steps outside and walks to the left of the patio. Slowly, she lowers her body to a semi-crouch and takes deliberate and halting steps. She reaches the 20 yard line and then, like a gazelle, she bolts forward and runs like her life is on the line. Her goal? Either Chesters or Chickens, which ever one shows its face first. This gets repeated everytime we let her out. She's so stealthy. This is dog heaven here and Scruffy has already lost weight from the sheer non stop exercise built in to a yard with loads of Chesters (squirrels) and a neighbor with chickens (afterall, she is a bird dog). Once she gets out there, she proceeds to run, for the joy of running, in crazy eight patterns until she spots something, tires out or gets call back to the house. This is one happy dog.

Awakening

Our challenge each day 

is not to get dressed to face the world

But to unglove ourselves

So that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet

And the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being,

Soft and unrepeatable 

Mark Nepo

If only my gloves didn’t feel like they were chained on with tiny locks that take way to long to remove.  

Look Who's Talking!

 ***** LANGUAGE ALERT******

If'n you are easily or not so easily offended, you may want to skip this blog post. 

Boy Scout felt strongly about purchasing wood for the fireplace. He had only a couple of "must have's" for our new home and a fireplace was one. I didn't give a whit. I find them to be dirty and smelly. He lucked out. The new place has one and the following is my secondhand recap of his wood buying experience.

He gets directions from a few people as to where he can find "Paul". Pointing lower and lower, they tell him to go down to the house. Venturing further until he finds it, the stereotypical homestead of the good ole boy. There are shells of cars, empty campers rusting out, tires and debris of every kind littering the property. Knocking on the door, he spies a very young woman cleaning near the window. She beckons him in. The house is somewhat of a hoarders house...it's bad. She points him to the room where Paul is sitting. He's in his underwear and doesn't care. Paul, with no front teeth, inquires none to gently, why BS is there. BS tells him he wants to buy wood.

Without even a blink, Paul changes the subject. He's pissed off at the fucking liberals who are doing construction outside, god damn well know they'll put in a bike path before they're done. Shifting again, he talks about the god damn, mother fucking, cock sucking liberals that are ruining this country. And fucking Maxine Waters (who happens to be a California politician), don't even get him started on that bitch. He continues on that line of thinking with a creative and extravagant use of profanity that surprises even the BS who has, as you say, been around the block. The effect is greatly enhanced by his missing incisors.

It goes downhill a bit when Paul learns BS is from Southern California because, as you must know, there are nothing but god damn, mother fucking liberals in California. Apparently all of them performing fellatio on Gavin Newsom, our governor (who must be the happiest man on earth, but I digress).

BS holds space for this man. He recognizes fear and pain manifested into anger.  He sees a person that feeds himself a steady diet of Fox News. BS just listens.

Eventually, they walk outside. BS in his jeans and Tshirt and Paul, well, he's still in his boxer briefs. It was then Paul showed BS that he is actually an intelligent man. He knows everything there is to know about trees. He's an expert and has passion. BS plies him with questions and Paul is happy to share his knowledge. They are down right genial before it is over, almost old friends. BS didn't need to defend or state his beliefs. He didn't need to change Pauls mind. He treated him with respect without making him the other. Something tells me this isn't the last we hear from Paul.

WOW! Who is this man I am living with? I don't even recognize him but I like him a lot.

You can't end hate with hate.

Moving Forward Again!

Did I mention that we bought a house? We did and it closes on the 1st. Yippee!

It's in a suburb of Portland in a city called Milwaukie. The previous owners were a couple that bought the house a long time ago. He just passed away from COVID at 89 and she is in a facility. According to neighbors, they were an unusual pair that hiked, worked and scuba'd right up until the end. They had 4 children but only two survive. The house was cared for but not much updated (truthfully, not at all updated).

It's a plain little ranch style house but we have vision.

Pretty sure the flooring is original.

The cabinets are definitely original and the dishwasher started smoking when started.

It's the lot we fell in love with.

We will soon own a small cedar grove and a little ranch house. I am over the moon and can't wait to move in. 

We start on Friday, get the two Pods shipped on Tuesday and we will play the rest by ear. Boy Scout's plantar fasciitis is giving him a lot of grief so we may have to take it easy, or rather, act our age. Apartment life has been kind of fun but we are ready to get settled and Scruffy is ready to have a yard again.

This has been a balm during a time where I am still adapting to life without my community. While Boy Scout has started to build his (and rather quickly), I am a slow burner on relationships. It takes me awhile to figure out just how much effort I want to put in and whether we are or are not kindred spirits. I'm old enough to know that all I need is a few of those and my soul will be content.