An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

The other day one of the ladies I meet with weekly cancelled with little notice. She was given the opportunity to spend some time with a new grand baby. The baby’s parents had recently reconnected after an extended estrangement.  I told her how very happy I was for her to have to time, to not worry about the cancellation and hoped she stayed present and enjoyed every moment.  She sweetly thanked me, faltered in her speech for a moment, and then expressed to me how sorry she was that I don’t have any grandchildren yet and that she hopes that changes someday. I would be lying if I told you it didn’t feel a little achey but, truthfully, I’m a very happy camper. I truly appreciated her kindness but I can spread my love other ways and I can always hope for the future.  Living in the moment, focusing on what is good (and there is a ton of it) accepting what is….it’s a great way to live.  Happiest of Sundays. 

 I know it's been awhile for me. Life has taken its turns and twists. I am rolling with it, living in the moment, breathing with purpose, journaling to get to know myself and accepting what is. It is amazing that all I had to do was give up the battle, stop being a victim and find the beauty. A while back I mentioned that I had a new interest in poetry. For most of my life I honestly didn't see the point of it but now it has taken on new meaning. I am finding some old poets that are lovely and solid and new ones that are irreverent and speak to my heart. I definitely have to pick and choose. There are many I simply don't understand but, in general, I am enjoying the trip. In addition to that, I have found that for the first time ever, Jazz speaks to my soul and my soul says YES. Imagine that? I couldn't have given one whit about it previously, quite the opposite. I would turn it off faster than you could say "Round Midnight".  Such fun! The Boy Scout graduated

Her mind was made up before I had a chance to affect a change. Once determined, mountains would move before she would switch the object of her affection. She was mine but only in some obscure idea that one of her favorite people purchased her for another of her favorite people. But those people are only there to fill the time and space that has been vacated by her one and only. I gave her food. He took her to the dog park. I gave her snacks to help teach her. He gave her the "STICK OF DOMINANCE". I tried to train her, make her behave. He thought it was funny. I payed for her vet bills. He tells he she will be ok and that she is the bestest ever. I throw the ball. I pet, groom, baby talk, bathe. He gets her absolute unconditional love. ah well....I will settle for the dog scraps.

 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  It can be

My sisters, who have decided to settle in the PNW for their retirement, sold their home in 3 days. They had 11 offers and settled on one that was just shy of $200,000 over asking price. Apparently, horse property in the Los Angeles area is getting harder and harder to find. Additionally, it costs about $600.00 to $700.00 per month to board a horse in an uncovered corral….and much more if you want a stable! So having it on your own property is a real plus. I had no idea how expensive a hobby it has become.  They will head in this direction no more than 55 days from today. Knowing my sisters, it will be sooner than that. My other sister Pam is selling a cabin in the Big Bear area of California at the same time but I don’t think that will slow the process.  I am thrilled beyond words to have them come my way. I adore all my sisters as they each hold of piece of my mom within them. A way of moving, a turn of phrase, it never fails to make me smile when I see her inside them. This morning m

Surprise Surprise!!!! As you may remember, my right ear has been hearing so well from that 1st surgery that the fact that the left side surgery was a failure was not heart breaking. More just disappointing.  Last Monday my left hearing aid started acting up. It popped and then screeched and then was just way too loud. Made an appointment to get the darn thing adjusted and went on my merry way. Went to my surgery final follow up, which included a hearing test, and, lo and behold, I found out that my left ear surgery finally kicked in. Not sure if it related to the POP I heard on Monday but, at this point, most of my hearing is in the moderate or moderately severe range except for a few of the lower frequencies which are still profound. Overall, I am ecstatic! I could not have dreamed of a better outcome. Still need those aids but grateful for living in a time where they are available and also that the costs are coming down. The last set cost about $10K. With the change in laws, and the