Friday, January 17, 2020

A New Day

Morning my friends. Not much to say. I’ve been sick with a chest cold and feeling wiped out but I had enough energy to make it for my morning meditation.
I’ll take this with me the rest of the day. 

Hope yours is a really good one. 

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Dammit

What tools do you use, if any, when you get bombarded with spam?

The Beauty of Glue

Today is my Mom's birthday. She would have been 85.

Almost 13 years ago we sat in the hospital waiting for the moment for her to be released from her earthly pain. Ovarian cancer is a brutal bitch that, while spending years quietly taking over cell after cell, when finally making itself known, makes sure that you don't spend another waking moment without the knowledge it is there.

I am so thankful for having my family to go through that moment together. In that tiny hospital room, with my beautiful mom struggling for each ragged breath, and her thoughts being somewhere else (or was she still thinking....who knows the mysteries of death), there was 9 or 10 of us. We sat and spoke of our love for her and wondered if we knew how to do life without her. I still wonder that sometimes. How do you figure out life without the glue that holds it together?

Well, we've done it, of course. Kept going.....but it changed things. The glue has loosened and the parts don't fit the way they used to.

Life changes and we adapt. 

Monday, January 6, 2020

A First

I got to meet my first blogging friend.

Despite my tendency to worry and my overuse of the "what if's", I wasn't a bit nervous. I felt like I already knew this person pretty well, like an old friend I hadn't seen in a good long while.

Dinner was so relaxed and she was just what I expected. Spirited and spunky with an easy laugh and a genuine love for her man. It was fun to watch them spar back and forth but with a twinkle in their eyes, that said "this is exactly where I want to be".

What felt like meeting an old friend has turned into a new friendship....and you can never have too many of those.

I love blogging.

Sunday, January 5, 2020

A Broken Woman’s Advice

To My kiddos,

I've been spending a lot of mornings at the beach.  Thinking, meditating, in prayer to a god only I can define.

It occurred to me that my love for you guys just keeps growing, deepening, becoming richer with each passing year. How lucky I am to love people I actually like a whole lot or am I lucky to like the people I love a whole lot. Either way, in this new year, this new decade, I think the thing I wish most for each of you is a quest for self love.  I wish you the journey to find a way to be kind, care, base your choices in life and love, on a deep sense of love and acceptance for you, wonderful gorgeous you.

Happy Saturday guys. 

Friday, January 3, 2020

Change Is Good

Where fear used to reign, now I look for comfort. When the tough times come, and they do come, my self talk is less of  “I can’t do this” or “I’m too stupid” and a lot more “You’ll be Ok”, “I can take care of you” and “There’s  nothing to be afraid of, this is just life and you know how to do life”.

I’m liking these changes a lot.

Good morning from Ventura

Monday, December 30, 2019

SACRILEGE

Just finished A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving.

How I’ve loved listening to my man read this out loud. How I have grown to love the strange voice that became Owen’s voice, always in ALL CAPS.

As he finished the last few pages yesterday, I felt the melancholy of saying goodbye to a good friend. Never having read a single Irving book as a young woman, the pleasure of discovering a treasure trove of good reading has got me anticipating what I will delve into next. I’m told his later works lack some of the magical qualities woven into his early work.

I read somewhere that the opening line of this book is Irving’s favorite.
“I am doomed to remember a boy with a wrecked voice – not because of his voice, or because he was the smallest person I ever knew, or even because he was the instrument of my mothers death, but because he was the reason I believe in God; I am a Christian because of Owen Meany.”
I confess myself thoroughly delighted.