An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

We have been on the road for 5 days. It has been a roller coaster of a ride. Sometimes light hearted laughter and fun, sometimes fear of the unknown has been too strong and would overtake one or both of us. Honestly, neither of us had ever considered leaving California. It’s home. His, a small paradise called Santa Barbara and mine, the greater Los Angeles area which has its beauty if you know where to look. Together we made our life in Ventura. Truthfully thought we’d die there.  We will leave behind my youngest child, my 5 siblings, their spouses and children, his 2 surviving siblings, dear friends and extended family and basically what we know, the familiar. We will take with us way too much shit and our dog, who will love Washington   Washington/Oregon are quite lovely to look at. We’ve found a few neighborhoods that we think we could call home. Money is not going quite as far as we had hoped but then, when does it ever? A tiny, growing town called Ridgefield is top on our list. It

As we contemplate leaving this home, city and state we love, we are somewhat restricted by circumstance who we are allowed to share the news with. The few we have chosen have been loving and supportive. I am grateful. Had a long, lovely talk with my best girlfriend yesterday. We sat, ate our lunch, cried a little and just were present for each other. This morning I woke to this: Good morning my sweet friend. I’m having a very difficult time wrapping my head around this. Selfishly, I don’t want you to leave. You are my very closest friend. I enjoy and look forward to seeing you every week. And I look forward to our conversations. But more than anything, I want to support you in any decision that you make. This has got to be incredibly difficult for you and I am here to do whatever I can to help, support and encourage. Whatever happens within the next few months I have no doubt that our friendship will forever be! I love you Linda! Hang in there! I. Always and only a phone call away -- L

Isn’t life funny? For the first time in my 58 years I feel connection. I have a couple of dear friends of my heart and a sweet, younger friend that has walked side by side with me in our healing process. There is a small group of ladies I truly enjoy. I have fallen in love with my neighbors and the feeling of belonging that has come with the blooming friendships is fresh and wonderful. And then there is Nancy, our 95 year old friend, with whom saying goodbye would be so very hard. I’ve watched as the Boy Scout has also learned what it is to be honest and vulnerable. He is more and more setting aside his ego for something better.  As we face this coming change, I am clinging to what I have here in this tiny house. Not the things but true kinship. My mantra shall be, “Remain open to the possibilities”.  Perhaps if I say it enough, I will eventually feel it in my heart.