Would I Change It?

The house that I owned before my divorce was my dream house. It was old, not perfect by any means, but it had a great garden, away from the city noise and it was a good size. The dreams I floated for the future saw me in the living room, with the kids and their partners home, a couple of grandkids playing with the toys I had purchased with just them in mind. I envisioned a tent in the backyard for the adventurous, a night under the stars. Food is cooking, filling the house with the aroma of home. Peace and joy are the feelings I conjured up when picturing this homecoming. And though it would be tight, we would all fit.

The reality is quite different. Not everyone is home and home is not where I thought it would be. A couple are sleeping in the uninsulated garage (which happens to actually matter this year as we have a rare storm), one will be on the couch and two won't be coming home at all. There are no grandkids as of yet.

What there is, in this tiny house of mine, is a lot more peace. Life in the big house was difficult. Addiction and mental illness are hard roommates, leaving the inhabitants off-balanced and befuddled. That dream I had was what I like to refer to as "magical thinking". Here, in this tiny home, we have more laugher, conversations and unconditional love. We are learning to be kind and disagree in
a healthy way.

Would I swap? While I might be tempted by the magical thinking for just a moment or two, the answer is unequivocally NO.

Home is here and what I have is right now. Not the past...it's gone. Not the future....who knows what it holds. Just now and I plan to be there, as present as I possibly can be.

Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyNovember 27, 2019 at 8:48 AM

    GAYmen! NO ONE needs all that drama; simple is better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaNovember 27, 2019 at 10:04 AM

      💜💜💜happy thanksgiving Anne Marie.

      Delete
  2. Debra She Who SeeksNovember 27, 2019 at 7:42 PM

    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving in the here and now!

    ReplyDelete
  3. JeanieNovember 27, 2019 at 7:45 PM

    Home is the people you love. Large or small, as long as it is filled with love and those trying their very best. Much Thanksgiving joy to you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marie SmithNovember 28, 2019 at 8:39 AM

    Whatever the size of your house, you have filled every square foot with love. Priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  5. SabineNovember 29, 2019 at 2:57 AM

    You are in a good place because you made it so.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ColetteNovember 30, 2019 at 6:29 AM

    Good choice. Smaller is more manageable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaDecember 1, 2019 at 8:20 AM

      That it is! Way easier to clean. But I would imagine not so much with a walker.

      Delete

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