An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

We've been busy busy. This little old house is coming along.  I'm feeling accomplished.  I've cleaned out a slow moving drain 2x, painted the master, the large guest and the main bathroom. I replaced one toilet with good results and one that I had to call the plumber on to get a new flange put in. Ah well, I tried. Installed a shelf, got the IRobot working again, hung the large TV on the wall (and it's done right!!), removed 5 sets of old blackout draperies and their hardware and sorted out my plants as best I could. Most of the artwork is hung. Here are a few pics.  old bath old bath and old Boy Scout Mini re-do old guest Guest with new paint old master wall color ( I don't do blue walls, they make me sad) New master wall color. Doing all white for the time being. Next I would like to remove the wood paneling in the Livingroom and I need to head to the city and get a DBA before I get in trouble for doing business here without one. The Boy Scout is still working the...

When I live life from standpoint of: worry about what will come,  what might be,  how will it work,  will we be Ok  it is dark and overwhelming. Today, I need to live in the moment. I am grateful for much and I need to let go of the preconceived notions of what life at 58 or 60 was going to look like. Staying there will only make the future scary and the moment lost. Easier said than done but I say it outloud so that I am accountable for having said it, if nothing else. I have no control over ANYTHING but me.

We spent a quiet day yesterday.  Greeted the new day and played an early 1/2 a round of golf and then a quick lunch. Back home to a little bit of football and the Boy Scout had a long nap. I took that opportunity to talk to the kids. It warmed my heart. Tried some lousy Chinese food and then a movie. It was cheesy but I wasn't going to miss it.  In 1984 my then boyfriend, who later became my husband, and I drove 45 minutes to the closest drive in movie theater. It was the beginning of summer blockbuster season and there was one movie that I was determined to see. We got to the drive in early to get a good spot. The Secret Keeper had a romantic side so he packed a picnic and parked his old yellow truck backwards and put out blankets and pillows.  It was fun seeing all the kids running around. Remember the playgrounds that used to sit at the foot of the giant screen? As we sat there, having a good time, a man approached. It took a minute to realize that my somewhat estrange...

I have 5 siblings. Of the 5, we all dabbled in the pursuit of higher education at differing levels. None of the dabbling was serious. One of my sisters, at the age of 45, went back and got her RN after decades of working as a LVN. Aside from that, we all went into the workplace and, equipped with an excellent work ethic, each made our way, working up the proverbial ladder. Ensconced solidly in the middle-class, we, for the most part, rose above our "prescribed at birth" stations. We dun good. When I realized that my kids would be able to attend university it was a dream come true-FOR ME. Born from a sense of feeling less than, I deeply regretted not going to college, believing, somehow, that would fix the problem within. When I did send the first three off to school, deep inside I wondered if they would be able to come home. Would they still relate to this family of blue collars? Would they still have respect for me and what I have to offer the world? I feel comfortable in th...

What do I feel? I find myself asking that question with more and more frequency. Years of numbing actual feelings by using control and anger when the others were too scary to feel can make it difficult to unravel what is going on inside this mass of cells I call home.  What I feel is relief and some dread. Maybe a little acceptance.  I had a job for one 1/2 day. My suspicions were pretty right on because despite the state mandate of masks for public areas and businesses, only a few people bothered. I passed people in hallways, talked in their offices, met everyone that was present to meet and very few masks presented themselves. Since the company has a stated vaccination policy of: We follow state mandates. Employees are encouraged to get vaccinated but it is not a job requirement nor will it ever be. Since we have more than 100 employees, we will have to follow whatever federal mandates come out My only question was where are the masks. But, truthfully, the reason is more com...

  And the I found them……..

 Moments of quiet and healing, a bath has always been my go to. Happy, sad, overwhelmed or just chilled to the bone, the water calls my name.  Just yesterday (or was it a year ago) I could turn on that water and no matter where she was, my old girl would run as fast as her body would take her, to get into that room before I closed the door. Of course I would always wait but she didn’t seem to know that. After squeezing through the teeniest of openings, she would spin three or four times on to whatever piece of clothing I would drop on the floor. Soon after, the snores commenced. If a frenchie is good at anything, it is snoring…..well that and making their owners laugh.  This morning, during a good soak, out of the corner of my eye, my pile of clothes tricked me into thinking she was there, adoring me, just as I adored her.  Not so! It was a dirty trick. But I smiled at the memory of my sweet companion.   Me and sophie at her second favorite place; the golf cours...