An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

My youngest and I were talking the other day. One of those rare times, just her and I, talking about anything and everything. We are both looking forward to her brothers visit in a few days, discussing how it will go. We talked about the last time we spent a few hours together, doing errands, shopping and lunch. It was a good time.  Out of the blue she mentioned how much she missed her sister. It felt a little like a punch in the gut. There are times where it seems as it is a dream, that my oldest is 1,100 miles away and not in the next town, and that I will wake up, call her and say, “You want to go to lunch?”   My youngest said what a comforting a presence her sister has. How easy she is to be around. I got it. My oldest is purposeful about her interactions with others, careful and intentional. Fiercely loving. Additionally, she lets everyone know that she is a mama bear. No one messes with her siblings. Not even me.  The discomfort of missing her is offset by the knowl...

 I stated my claim.  I said what I needed. I stayed on my side of the street.   I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks   I did good.  Thank you. 

I don't know if I told you this before but I was a runner a good part of my life. I loved the act of running. It burned the excess energy, got me outside and made me feel physically strong. Those were the things I was aware of. What I was not aware of was that, unless I was accompanied by another runner, my thoughts beat me up. It's not like that was unusual, my thoughts were often in self flagellation mode but the running gave my brain an uninterrupted opportunity to beat me down. I was a captive audience. In ACA, we learn that we are not our thoughts and that our thoughts can often emanate from what we learn is our "critical inner parent". Whether learned from an actual parent or honed by oneself, the thoughts can be incredibly destructive and know exactly where to land the blows to the most sensitive parts of the soul. Mine often told me what a bad mother I was, an inept wife, a socially awkward human but mainly my brain told me how stupid I was. At a low point in ...

I believe in the magic of the front porch.   It’s outside, a place to relax, a dining room, and it’s an open door to the neighborhood, or more importantly, the neighbors. As we build our community, we are lucky that our neighbors are a part of it. Neither I, nor the Boy Scout, have much family nearby so the importance of having people we love and can count on is critical.   On the front porch we sit, enjoy the weather, let the dogs explore, greet anyone walking by and, best yet, read out loud. Or rather he reads to me. Right now we are reading The Brothers K. It is about family, faith and baseball, a touching and very funny story. I highly recommend it with the footnote that my opinion is based on the book being read out loud, which can change things a bit, and also the with the knowledge that because it has made the Boy Scout laugh heartily, and even wheeze for air a few times, that I may be finding more humorous because he does. Its hard to say.  Now, back to the porch....

I do love YouTube. It has some great content when one wants to feel good or indulge in some non-thinking time. Kittens and puppies playing, a vast catalog of music, background noise of nature or city streets, there is something for everyone who wants to turn their brain off. One the other hand, it has an impressive list of videos that can really challenge one to think. One of my favorite sites is Intelligence Squared. I can listen to the more prominent issues of the day debated by experts in their fields, allowing me to hear a more in depth discussion of the facts and then have those "facts" debated by the other side. On a lighter side, right now I am enjoying their culture series which debates subjects like: Dickens vs Tolstoy Verdi vs Wagner Greece vs Rome Brave New World vs 1984 It's lovely to hear the opening arguments by the experts as to where they found their passion for their particular subject. So much enthusiasm, it is infectious. After receiving some context an...

As a young girl I used to leave my body. I could fly.  I had forgotten this fact until the Boy Scout brought it up awhile back. He, too, could leave his body. I am not quite sure what it was, perhaps just a vivid imagination, but I remember flying down the street and the feeling of swaying back and forth using my tiny feet quite like fish tail. I remember that strange floaty feeling in my stomach from rising and dropping back down and also the wind in my hair, which wasn't very long at the time. In addition to the physical sensations, I remember being very present, noticing details that I wouldn't normally notice. Bird s , squirrels and bugs stood out, as well as shapes of trees and colors of houses and the sky. I feel like I saw beauty everywhere. How could I have possibly forgotten these experiences? It felt kind of Peter Pan-ish, wonderful to revisit something I did fairly regularly for a short period of time. Since we both did it, I wondered.....did you ever leave...

In a time full of division, anger and fear, I hope..... "Our children are watching us. They put their trust in us. They're going to be like us." The Chicks-2006 Taking The Long Way Home

 The car is back! The cops found it the night it was stolen. They decided to GPS it for a little while instead of returning it right away. Glad they felt that was their option (yes I am being sarcastic). It is an old car with a lot of miles but that doesn't mean it isn't important to the owner. It was gone for 4 days. It was in pretty good shape but they stole a 30 year collection of CD's. The Boy Scout loves his music in a way that I have trouble understanding. He had, only a few weeks before, cleaned out his two or three boxes of CD's and purchased some large cases to hold them all. He was in the process of listening, one by one, getting rid of the ones that had scratches. All in all, 3 or 4 hundred CD's that included but was not limited to: Everything by Elton John, Dire Straits, Elvis Costello, Mark Knopfler, Paul Simon, David Lindley, Allison Krause Genesis, Diana Krall and James McMurtry. Loads of 70's and 80's best, rock, folk, southern rock, hard, so...