An Invincible Summer - A Woman's Journey

My job is ending. I am heartbroken. For two months I have been sending out resumes, even before I knew it was ending, because it had been so slow, and I have received one email back letting me know that I was not selected to move forward.  I am unable to replace my income. My job was so niche that it just doesn't have a place anywhere else in this economy. The boyscout is retired so he is limited on any extra income. We are looking at options but one option does not seem to be staying here. This city is not affordable. I have a good amount of equity built up in this house, equity that would serve me well in a more affordable city. I am angry, so so angry and grieved. All the years of following the rules, giving it my best, being a loyal employee and business owner. I stayed out of debt. I lived well within my means. I've taken 2 vacations in the last 10 years. But it looks like I will be having to walk away from another home that I thought was going to be my last. That's wh...

Off to get shot #2 and all I feel is gratitude.

I wasn't taught how to express anger or how to own my feelings. In fact, I remember being quieted or dismissed. I heard "Don't be silly" a lot. I am learning now. The other day, while golfing, the Boy Scout brought the golf cart up from behind me quite speedy and kind of close. If one is a hearing person, your hearing would have warned you that a golf cart was coming up from your left side and getting closer. If you are HOH, your brain is somewhere else because it is not concerned with anything except the really good chip shot onto the green. The cart sweeping by startled me.  Now I don't startle well. Don't surprise me, don't jump out, don't make loud noises expecting me to get a kick out it or hoping for a good laugh. You will be disappointed. The best you will get is a disgruntled woman. The worst.....a good tongue lashing. I said to the man, "Don't do that please, it scares me." He got out of the cart and said, basically, that while h...

Our little neighborhood has become a sweet, loving community. We are enjoying these friendships in a way we never have before. That being said, it has been an enlightening and interesting experience to walk side by side with our neighbors R & S  as their adult child transforms from the daughter they gave birth to, to the person they have become. We’ve learned together to honor their request of going from Julie to Lance. Watching R&S with their need to acknowledge both their love and their grief. When referring to the past, when Lance was a child, they were a little girl. That can’t be ignored. It doesn’t disappear because the narrative has changed. We, including them, slip or forget but we help each other to embrace imperfectly. It’s a wondrous walk of unconditional love on their part and good friendship on ours.   Love and acceptance are something everyone wants, at least to some degree. There is a little more love and acceptance on this street of ours and I like ...

If one is traveling, attempting to drive from the southern part of California to the northern part and beyond, one must pass through a large section that could be considered a vast wasteland from the point of view of visual interest. Four or five hours of dirt colored nothingness except for an occasional small town that can leave me wondering...."How could anyone possibly, ever live here?" Truth be told, it’s a cornucopia. It’s called the Central Valley and here are a few facts: More than 250 different crops are grown in the Central Valley with an estimated value of $17 billion per year Approximately 75% of the irrigated land in California and 17% of the Nation's irrigated land is in the Central Valley Using fewer than 1% of U.S. farmland, the Central Valley supplies 8% of U.S. agricultural output (by value) and produces 1/4 of the Nation's food, including 40% of the Nation's fruits, nuts, and other table foods. The predominant crop types are cereal grains, hay, c...

Business is very slow and I don't feel confident that my contract will be renewed next year. I am, therefore, for the first time in 35 years, applying for jobs. At 57 this is a humbling experience. I am very qualified for most accounting positions, except those requiring CPA or bachelor degrees. I got my degree in the school of life and done OK for myself. Back to the humbling part......each time I send out the resume there is a part of me that wishes I could condense my work experience into a shorter timeframe but I can't get away from the fact that my first Payroll job was in 1985. Having sent out at least 25 resumes, thus far this is what I have heard........ Ah well, not completely unexpected. I forge forward.....I've got a number of good earning years in front of me. I need something to fill more of my time. I'd really like to be socking away a little bit of dough for retirement. Mostly, I'd love a little help paying my $1000.00 per month health insurance bill...

I've lived in the city of Ventura for 38 years. You would think that it would be the place I call home but, deep within my heart, when I say I want to go home, I am talking about Sunland/Tujunga, the place I was raised, and maybe a little bit of La Crescenta, which is where we moved when I was 13ish. Both cities are suburbs of Los Angeles. Ventura (60 miles NW) is podunk compared to LA and driving here is, well...........(yawn) kind of sleepy. I am completely accustom to it though, it's been a long time.  On those days when we decide to venture east to LA, whether to sight see or visit one of my siblings, it's a chance to enjoy the ride.....and I do. Something happens when I get about half way there. I sit a little snugger in my seat, I make sure my mirrors are quite well adjusted, we often have the music on and I morph back into the person I was meant to be. It's like putting on a favorite old pair of jeans and a lovely soft flannel shirt. It just fits.  I become more ...