I'm Feelin Ya

I wasn't taught how to express anger or how to own my feelings. In fact, I remember being quieted or dismissed. I heard "Don't be silly" a lot. I am learning now.

The other day, while golfing, the Boy Scout brought the golf cart up from behind me quite speedy and kind of close. If one is a hearing person, your hearing would have warned you that a golf cart was coming up from your left side and getting closer. If you are HOH, your brain is somewhere else because it is not concerned with anything except the really good chip shot onto the green. The cart sweeping by startled me. 

Now I don't startle well. Don't surprise me, don't jump out, don't make loud noises expecting me to get a kick out it or hoping for a good laugh. You will be disappointed. The best you will get is a disgruntled woman. The worst.....a good tongue lashing.

I said to the man, "Don't do that please, it scares me." He got out of the cart and said, basically, that while he could understand what I was saying, if I thought it through to the end I would realize that there wasn't a problem and there was no need to be scared because he would never hurt me.

We go on to the green and putt the balls and are walking back to the cart, I turned to him and said my piece. "Don't tell me what I should feel. I have the right to my feelings. If that scares me....it damn well scares me!"

He looked at me, surprised, and apologized and said that I was right.

1 point for Linda for stating her feelings calmly

1 point for Linda for not allowing someone to tell her how to feel or shame her for feeling something

1 point for Boy Scout for being gracious enough to admit that he was wrong.

Kind of a win/win

Pretty basic but some of us learn later in life.


Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyApril 22, 2021 at 12:29 PM

    that was not nice of the boy scout. good for you to stand up for yourself!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 23, 2021 at 9:20 AM

      Thank you, thank you! I stand on the shoulders of better women.

      Delete
  2. My life so farApril 22, 2021 at 1:01 PM

    Most excellent. Yesterday the big guy was snippy with me at work and I told him four reasons why he shouldn't have been snippy with me. I can't read him mind. I had no idea 12 other people had just asked him the same question. I was asking him a question related to our conversation on the way into work and I'm his wife. He apoligized and then explained why he was snippy. He's teaching me to debate, much to his detriment:)

    As for the boyscout, you can't hear! How are you supposed to know it was him and nobody some other idiot. I hate being scared too. I tend to yell, very loudy. Ask my coworkers. And good for you telling him. I hope I remember that because I hate being told, "Oh, don't be mad". Fuck you. I can get mad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 23, 2021 at 9:21 AM

      Yes ma'am you do and have EVERY RIGHT TO BE MAD!

      Delete
  3. JenniferApril 22, 2021 at 1:09 PM

    I love this. Good for you for speaking out. Maybe one day I'll learn to be better at that myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 23, 2021 at 9:22 AM

      Today is a new day and all of us can learn, right?

      Delete
  4. Debra She Who SeeksApril 22, 2021 at 2:18 PM

    Brava, I say, brava!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marie SmithApril 22, 2021 at 5:37 PM

    Well done, Linda!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 23, 2021 at 9:22 AM

      Thanks Marie.....I am pleased with myself.

      Delete
  6. JeanieApril 23, 2021 at 6:10 AM

    Well done! I think a lot of us have that "training" (or lack thereof). I'm glad you reached beyond it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)April 23, 2021 at 8:12 AM

    I love it! Men are clueless let's face it. The Boy Scout is a fine man, but they aren't mind readers and they sure as hell don't see clues even if waved in their face so us telling them what we are feeling they 'should' understand and when they get it, it's great isn't it? Good for the both of you! You're da bomb Linda! That lesson was taught to me by a therapist, glad you learned it without having to pay...tee hee

    ReplyDelete
  8. ColetteApril 23, 2021 at 9:15 AM

    Very much a win!

    ReplyDelete
  9. BillApril 23, 2021 at 12:56 PM

    A win and bonus points for you!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary sr. soun
Read more

Let's Be Perfectly Clear

I would like your input on this letter I am considering sending out. Darryl, I once considered you, if not a friend, a very friendly acquaintance. Our daughters are the same age. I am sure that your daughter is as special to you as mine is to me. McKenna is 21 years old and starting out her life with some tough situations. SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT. She is a person who has her ups and downs, her struggles and triumphs. She has, in the past year, completely alone, had to make scary medical decisions for her mentally ill, addicted father. She has had to watch as the man who was an amazing father slowly turn into a shell of a man who has little to give and much to take. Whether purposefully or accidentally, you have added to her already difficult year. I wonder…would you appreciate my ex-husband leering and making inappropriate comments to your daughter over the course of a long evening? Think about that for a moment!  What were you hoping to achieve with your behavior? Whether
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  It can be
Read more