Thursday, April 29, 2021

NOT FEELING SO BODHICHITTA

My job is ending.

I am heartbroken.

For two months I have been sending out resumes, even before I knew it was ending, because it had been so slow, and I have received one email back letting me know that I was not selected to move forward. 

I am unable to replace my income. My job was so niche that it just doesn't have a place anywhere else in this economy. The boyscout is retired so he is limited on any extra income.

We are looking at options but one option does not seem to be staying here. This city is not affordable. I have a good amount of equity built up in this house, equity that would serve me well in a more affordable city.

I am angry, so so angry and grieved. All the years of following the rules, giving it my best, being a loyal employee and business owner. I stayed out of debt. I lived well within my means. I've taken 2 vacations in the last 10 years. But it looks like I will be having to walk away from another home that I thought was going to be my last. That's what I get for thinking.

Right now it looks like, if I could get anyone to give me a chance, I could replace a little less than 1/2 my income. That ain't gunna cut it and somethings gotta give. 

I am reminded of the story about the farmer that had several things happen to him and each time his neighbors came to commiserate or to celebrate, he would say, "This could be good, this could be bad. Who knows." While I appreciate what it is teaching....I'm just not there yet.


11 comments:

  1. I'm very sorry to hear this, Linda. Sometimes Life can just be so terribly unfair. I know what it feels like to have a good job end suddenly and unexpectedly and then having to start all over again in a new city. Sending you best wishes and hugs.

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  2. I lived this as you know. I am still paying for this as you know. I am having to move out of state because of this as you know. I feel you Linda. I wish I could hug you and give you a job. We could all live on the same property like a commune :-) It's sure as heck warm down there.

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  3. There's time to be angry (now) and time to "get there" (when you are ready.) I'm really sorry to hear this, though. It's terribly unfair and unfortunate, too -- not just for you but also for those who are missing out on hiring you. I wish I knew how to help you find the best thing -- even if a temporary placeholder so you could hold onto the house for a bit more but I'm afraid I'm so far away and clueless on your industry. I know they don't count for much in practicality but all good wishes, thoughts, prayers and vibes that something will turn up. Maybe it's time to call the people you haven't heard from and remind them that you are not only skilled in your field but also determined. Even if it netted an interview or sit down, someone might know someone. The other thing you have probably thought of already is how do the skills and talents you have transfer to something else that might not be quite the same but close enough. And all skills -- not just the technical ones, but the life skills, too. Just a thought.

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  4. So sorry to hear this but you'll figure out a plan and move forward.

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  5. I am so sorry for this situation you find yourself in after all your hard work, Linda. It must be frustrating and disheartening. Sending a hug across the continent.

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  6. aw shit! it's SO hard to find a job out there; I've been looking since last june. ageism is discriminatory, but companies get away with it.

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  7. I'm sorry. This is hard. I hope you will one day be in a place where you look back on this and can smile at the opportunities this forced change of life plans provided. But right now, it hurts and it's important to acknowledge your pain and grief, as you're doing. May something wonderful be on its way to you.

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  8. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Such a f*cking bummer. I do hope something works out for you. Take care there.

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  9. I'm SO sorry to hear this. It really sucks. I'm hoping for the best for you.

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  10. I'm so sorry sweetie. That's got to be so scary. Sending hugs which doesn't do you any good sadly.

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  11. Such awful news. Sending you my heartfelt hopes for new options and opportunities.

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