I've decided that weekends are too long.
My first post.......5 years from now I will look back at this post and love this damaged, hurting lady but will take pride in the fact that she kept moving forward, looking for happiness and knowing that she found within herself...an Invincible Summer.
How does one adjust from being a wife of 29 years to being alone? Slowly and compassionately I guess.
Slowly, because it is hard to fill so many hours that once belonged to a married couple. Waking, planning and falling asleep alone. Movies, shopping, travel and beach clean-ups were once done with my partner.....now I'm looking for others to fill that spot or go alone or maybe try to go but then just sit in my car feeling anxious, eating a meal alone and then returning home. Work is a balm....time spent not thinking, just doing.
Compassionately, because these feelings are okay, right? I'm allowed to take this time to mourn what I have lost, grieve the hole my heart, adjust my dreams and try to move forward. Having a good cry when Carly Simon sings Coming Around Again and I go back in time when 4 or 5 of us danced around the house together, singing at the top of our voices, so happy.... and then I tell myself, "That's OK honey. A few tears and then pull yourself together."