Between Friends

For close to 4 years I have been meeting with a small group of women every Tuesday night. We were 6 for the first year but since then we have been 5. Between us, we have close to 80 years of 12 step recovery under our belts. The bulk of that is AA but there are many types of 12 step groups and we cover just about all of them in one form or another. 

A while back, when I was still feeling low and unconnected, I shared with them how much I missed my mother. I was saying to them….. “you know, that unconditional love that a mother gives.” I said it before thinking it through. When I finished, I looked at them and 2 of them were stoned faced and one looked confused. Those three women had had very troubled humans for mothers. They could not relate to what I was saying.

My heart ached, not only for the thoughtlessness of my comment, but for these three women who have had to spend a lifetime to heal from the damage heaped on them by that person that they should have been able to trust. 

I made my amends to them immediately and we moved forward. They were gracious. 

We each have our own truths, our own struggles. But together, the pain is lessened, the wounds heal and the victories are multiplied and celebrated with the deepest knowledge of how hard we have worked to get to the point of loving and caring for ourselves.


Comments

  1. MargaretJanuary 5, 2024 at 5:35 PM

    I too have made those sorts of comments and then felt awful afterward. I've also been on the receiving end of them. I'm glad that they were understanding and gracious. We all have different journeys.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Debra She Who SeeksJanuary 5, 2024 at 6:03 PM

    A woman in my drumming circle years ago said she was devoted to the Divine Feminine because her relationship with her own mother was so bad and conflicted. She said contemplating the Divine Feminine gave her access to a positive feminine love and role model that she had not had in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Marie SmithJanuary 6, 2024 at 4:57 AM

    Everyone’s experiences are different and we can learn from all, as Debra said.

    ReplyDelete
  4. eJanuary 8, 2024 at 9:18 AM

    Several of my very close friends had difficult (or cruel) mothers. That is one of the saddest family situations - and it lasts for a lifetime. I am so very thankful to have had wonderful parents, and I know how lucky I am.

    ReplyDelete

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