Of Love, Friendship and Family

Allowing people to walk in and out of my life without holding on is new. The freedom to let go is liberating and so smart. The more difficult people, the ones that cause the waves around me to feel choppy and overwhelming, can now be set in the palm of my hand and offered up, back to the universe. I’ll step away. That tight fist that feared being alone, or not enough, or wanting to belong, feels more willing to just let go. Discernment on who I let in expands and it feels fabulous. I want to grow my community but I will do it with purpose. 

On occasion, I am the one being difficult in a relationship. I am the one to muddy the waters, cause the waves. Why do I do that? That’s not who I want to be but change…….it takes time. My body has spent so much time being hyper aware, looking for what may hurt. Learning to look for the good takes practice. Expecting the best has to be a conscious choice. Manipulating situations so that I feel comfortable gets set aside to finding comfort inside of me. Healing means seeing my part in the drama more clearly.

My tiny community has increased. My Winnie is ever present as we walk and talk about the big things in life. A few other people from my ACA groups have come along. I’m enjoying this journey of exploring the relationships, seeing what we have to offer each other. Relocation, while hard, does provide a clean slate on which to build.

Now I need to develop a Portland family. We have no family here to speak of and it would be nice for holidays and special occasions to have a “chosen” family to celebrate life’s milestones. We are not there yet but we’ve got a good start.

Happy Monday!

Comments

  1. MargaretAugust 7, 2023 at 10:26 AM

    It does take a while to establish friendships and relationships. It's also work! I mostly am at the maintenance level but get forgetful (neglectful) of some friends where I should reach out but don't.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Debra She Who SeeksAugust 7, 2023 at 11:04 AM

    I hope your "chosen family" expands even more!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)August 7, 2023 at 11:23 AM

    Please note that when you wish to meet people and do, you must cultivate that relationship unless you wish to let it die. When one sees it's one sided one will give up. Have a great day!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marie SmithAugust 7, 2023 at 3:39 PM

    Give yourself time…your chosen family will expand.

    ReplyDelete
  5. BillAugust 9, 2023 at 10:22 AM

    Having friends that eventually become a family is one of the best things in life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ToniAugust 10, 2023 at 10:18 PM

    Your self-awareness is impressive. It takes courage and wisdom to choose who is going to be in your life and who needs to be let go!

    ReplyDelete

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