Of Love, Friendship and Family

Allowing people to walk in and out of my life without holding on is new. The freedom to let go is liberating and so smart. The more difficult people, the ones that cause the waves around me to feel choppy and overwhelming, can now be set in the palm of my hand and offered up, back to the universe. I’ll step away. That tight fist that feared being alone, or not enough, or wanting to belong, feels more willing to just let go. Discernment on who I let in expands and it feels fabulous. I want to grow my community but I will do it with purpose. 

On occasion, I am the one being difficult in a relationship. I am the one to muddy the waters, cause the waves. Why do I do that? That’s not who I want to be but change…….it takes time. My body has spent so much time being hyper aware, looking for what may hurt. Learning to look for the good takes practice. Expecting the best has to be a conscious choice. Manipulating situations so that I feel comfortable gets set aside to finding comfort inside of me. Healing means seeing my part in the drama more clearly.

My tiny community has increased. My Winnie is ever present as we walk and talk about the big things in life. A few other people from my ACA groups have come along. I’m enjoying this journey of exploring the relationships, seeing what we have to offer each other. Relocation, while hard, does provide a clean slate on which to build.

Now I need to develop a Portland family. We have no family here to speak of and it would be nice for holidays and special occasions to have a “chosen” family to celebrate life’s milestones. We are not there yet but we’ve got a good start.

Happy Monday!

Comments

  1. MargaretAugust 7, 2023 at 10:26 AM

    It does take a while to establish friendships and relationships. It's also work! I mostly am at the maintenance level but get forgetful (neglectful) of some friends where I should reach out but don't.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Debra She Who SeeksAugust 7, 2023 at 11:04 AM

    I hope your "chosen family" expands even more!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)August 7, 2023 at 11:23 AM

    Please note that when you wish to meet people and do, you must cultivate that relationship unless you wish to let it die. When one sees it's one sided one will give up. Have a great day!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marie SmithAugust 7, 2023 at 3:39 PM

    Give yourself time…your chosen family will expand.

    ReplyDelete
  5. BillAugust 9, 2023 at 10:22 AM

    Having friends that eventually become a family is one of the best things in life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. ToniAugust 10, 2023 at 10:18 PM

    Your self-awareness is impressive. It takes courage and wisdom to choose who is going to be in your life and who needs to be let go!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary sr. soun
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  It can be
Read more

Let's Be Perfectly Clear

I would like your input on this letter I am considering sending out. Darryl, I once considered you, if not a friend, a very friendly acquaintance. Our daughters are the same age. I am sure that your daughter is as special to you as mine is to me. McKenna is 21 years old and starting out her life with some tough situations. SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT. She is a person who has her ups and downs, her struggles and triumphs. She has, in the past year, completely alone, had to make scary medical decisions for her mentally ill, addicted father. She has had to watch as the man who was an amazing father slowly turn into a shell of a man who has little to give and much to take. Whether purposefully or accidentally, you have added to her already difficult year. I wonder…would you appreciate my ex-husband leering and making inappropriate comments to your daughter over the course of a long evening? Think about that for a moment!  What were you hoping to achieve with your behavior? Whether
Read more