Take A Good Look

Have you heard of mirror work?

Before I started writing this, I decided to Google “mirror work”. It did not produce what I thought it would. Quite the opposite. It gave me a bunch of stuff on exercise, getting in shape, looking your best.

The mirror work I am speaking of is purposefully taking time to look at oneself and offer the kind words and unconditional love that our inner being has always wanted or needed. I know, I know, it sounds hokey but it’s part of a multilayered plan to change the way one thinks and “talks” to oneself.

My inner critical voice has always been so loud. Picking, shaming, telling me how stupid I am. It had been with me so long I just took it as me, completely accepting it for truth. Whether that voice developed because that is what we heard in our family, or whether we developed it on our own because of things that may have happened in our families, it’s often there. I can trace mine way back to toddlerhood. It was already there in my earliest memory before the age of two. 

The practice is simple. Take a few minutes to get centered, look yourself in the eye, and simply say I love you. Make it a daily practice until it doesn’t feel laughable or ridiculous and then add on to that with other things you always wanted to hear like, for me, “You are smart” or “You are beautiful inside and out” or “You are worthy”. Louise Hay, with whom I am not a big fan, has a tiny little book that has weekly practices and journaling that goes with it, called Mirror Work, 21 Days to Heal Your Life. The 21 days part is bullshit but the exercises, along with other things, helped me change the way I speak to myself. 

The kinder inner voice in my head that allows me to try new things, stick myself out there with new people, encourages me when I fail, loves me more unconditionally. Isn’t that what we all want?

Is your inner voice kind?

Comments

  1. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)July 13, 2023 at 11:17 AM

    No.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Debra She Who SeeksJuly 13, 2023 at 11:26 AM

    I've never heard this called "mirror work" before, but it's a good description! I think positive, personalized affirmations can be incredibly effective and healing, but they do take time to work. Sometimes a lot of time but persistence is the key! It's essentially re-education and that takes time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Marie SmithJuly 14, 2023 at 6:11 AM

    My inner voice varies. I like it more sometimes than at other times.

    ReplyDelete
  4. NewRobin13July 14, 2023 at 6:45 AM

    I never thought about this before, My inner voice is not always kind. I like the practice you describe. I may have to try that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. PixieJuly 14, 2023 at 8:39 AM

    My inner voice is an alarmist with a suicidal bent:)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary sr. soun
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  It can be
Read more

Let's Be Perfectly Clear

I would like your input on this letter I am considering sending out. Darryl, I once considered you, if not a friend, a very friendly acquaintance. Our daughters are the same age. I am sure that your daughter is as special to you as mine is to me. McKenna is 21 years old and starting out her life with some tough situations. SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT. She is a person who has her ups and downs, her struggles and triumphs. She has, in the past year, completely alone, had to make scary medical decisions for her mentally ill, addicted father. She has had to watch as the man who was an amazing father slowly turn into a shell of a man who has little to give and much to take. Whether purposefully or accidentally, you have added to her already difficult year. I wonder…would you appreciate my ex-husband leering and making inappropriate comments to your daughter over the course of a long evening? Think about that for a moment!  What were you hoping to achieve with your behavior? Whether
Read more