Just What The Doctor Ordered

Hi there…..it’s been awhile. 

I’m here. I’m reading but just haven’t had much to write about until today.

I started the cochlear process. Finally met with the ENT surgeon. He came in the room acting kind of frustrated, started asking loads of questions about my hearing, when I first noticed it, how it manifests itself, how much vertigo I’ve experienced, etc, and then, finally, said that he felt fairly confident that I had been misdiagnosed. Misdiagnosed by four different doctors. FOUR! It’s hard to say if part of this is gender bias. At least two of them were dismissive assholes but they might have been that way to everyone. Who knows?

Apparently bilateral Ménière’s disease is fairly rare, and my vertigo episodes do not match typical Ménière’s disease symptoms. My air/bone gap (basically the difference between the hearing through the ear vs bone conduction of sound) is huge, which is not Ménière’s disease typical either. He was angry on my behalf but need not have been. I had more than enough of my own. I guess “otosclerosis” is fairly common in child bearing women. I noticed the loss between baby 3 and 4.

If all goes as expected, my hearing loss is fairly treatable. It won’t be perfect but it will be substantially better. If he is right, and he is sure he is, I will have a stapedectomy (replacement of the stapes) and my loss will go from profound to moderate. A huge difference. This last year has been rather heartbreaking in regards to finding a decent job and connection. It is hard to make friends, develop relationships, when you can’t hear what anyone is saying unless you are alone, in a perfectly quiet room.

I will get to grateful but right now I’m angry.