Sunday, March 19, 2023

Casting My Net Wide

Went to an ACA speaker meeting Saturday night. I couldn’t hear so no idea whether it was good or not.

In the long church pew ahead of me was a single occupant. A woman about 30ish. She was inexpertly dressed, and her hair was a home dye job and her makeup could use a little help from a pro and, truthfully, all I wanted to do was go sit with her and tell her how beautiful she looked. She was beautiful because she was being her own true self.

I didn’t sit with her. I don’t know if I could have done it without making her uncomfortable about the big feelings I was having.

You see, my trans daughter is trying to be her very best womanly self too. She is putting herself out there day after day, being vulnerable and hoping for, in not complete and unabashed acceptance, then at least decency in return. She is a good human, kind, thoughtful and caring but that is not always what she gets in return. The other day she went to a women’s only yoga class. She checked it out carefully. It did not say CIS women only. When she got there the teacher was less than warm and made it abundantly clear she was not welcome. YOGA for gods sakes! Isn’t that a Buddhist thing? Wouldn’t you think a yoga group would be welcoming? My girl took it hard. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last but it still hurts.

Back to the woman in the row ahead of me…..

I would have liked to sit with her and tell her I loved her, and hoped that there were lots of people around who gave her unconditional love. Maybe if I do that, somewhere in Liverpool England, there will be someone that does the very same for my girl and, just maybe, turn a bad day into a good one. Or at least make her smile. I want the best for both of them. 

Next time I will step out of my shy introversion. Next time I will start a conversation with her and see where it goes. Not a big gushy one. A normal conversation of getting to know each other. 

If my Higher Power is love than I better get to spreading it around.


  1. If only people could be more accepting! Trans people are on a sacred journey.

  2. It must be heartbreaking not to be able to hug your sweet girl when she’s hurting. People can be so cruel.

  3. This time you had the idea to reach out. Next time you will do it. It's a journey for all of us...

  4. That breaks my heart for your daughter. Human beings are not always kind or accepting of others. It makes me so sad.

  5. Very sad the yoga teacher wasn't welcoming. After reading this all I could think of, "it's too bad people suck".

  6. Decency should not be too much to hope for. It is the bare minimum. I wish for decency and so much more for your daughter. I am certainly very glad that she has such a supportive and loving mother.

  7. I am so sorry that your daughter had to have that experience, especially with a Yoga teacher. I think that teacher needs to sit, meditate more and focus on her heart for a while and learn how to be kind.

  8. My heart aches for your daughter. The world can be so cruel.


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