Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Friends In High Places

I let you go as if you were not important. It is so unlike me especially since it is hardly the case. I love and admire you.

Why did I?

It is so complex. It’s taken me a long time to figure it out.

You, truly one of the most resilient, exuberant and grateful people I know, are a hard act to follow. As I left on this adventure, I felt fear, dread and resentment. It seeped into my life, gradually taking up so much space in my heart.

I let other people go. That was easier, it was time. But you……I just felt ashamed. How could I tell the friend who had been through so much heartache and misfortune that I could not find my gratitude? How in the world could I cry on the shoulder of the friend who trusts and makes the best of each set back?

I couldn’t fake it and I couldn’t muster anything that resembled good sense in my thoughts.

Through it all, you sent messages and phone calls and unconditional love. You are amazing my friend. One of a kind. A bright star. Beautiful inside and out.

I’m working it out. Heading in a good direction.

Just wanted you to know that I love you and hope you can forgive me.

4 comments:

  1. If she's a true friend, she would have understood that you couldn't find your gratitude and wouldn't have judged you. She probably wonders what she did wrong.

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  2. I hope you reconnect and resume the friendship.

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  3. Friendships wax and wane; I've had that experience with several people. The pandemic has made it worse. I hope you can come to a resolution and find peace about the situation.

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