I spoke to him, that brother of mine. 

It was filled with minutiae and emotion, the everyday and the cancer in the brain. He told me how his desk top is a picture of our mother as a young women. He says he thinks we look so much alike, Mom and I. 

I hail from a tall family. Laurie is about 5'11", Sal and Pam are at least 5'10" and my little bro, Tommy, is 6'2"ish. Somehow John and I got missed. He comes in at around 5'9" and I, 5'7" on a good day. John stayed trim and buff all his life, despite his hearty consumption of cigarettes and weed. 

Right now, after radiation and chemo he is weighing in at 127lbs which is exactly what I weigh. He says don't count him out. Always a rebel, why would it be any different while fighting lung cancer that has spread to the brain. 

We cried and we shared family photos. He is leaving today for Texas where he will buy a home. His wife has connection there and she will need it in the not too distant future. 

For now, I will open my heart. Not fully because that is not safe, but enough to make room for the man I hardly know but still love. Good boundaries is one thing I have learned well in my ACA program. I will use them to the best of my ability.

Comments

  1. amOctober 9, 2022 at 11:02 AM

    So good to know you and your brother spoke and that your heart is open for now and that you have good boundaries. A love like yours for your brother doesn't die.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shari BurkeOctober 9, 2022 at 11:23 AM

    Your skill with boundaries will serve you well. I'm happy for you that you spoke to your brother, because it seemed like not doing so would cause you stress.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JeanieOctober 9, 2022 at 1:07 PM

    Oh LInda, I'm so grateful you were able to talk. Yes, protecting boundaries, but still, being open. Reading this makes me smile. A gift for you both.

    ReplyDelete
  4. NewRobin13October 9, 2022 at 2:32 PM

    I love that you talked with your brother and that you are opening your heart and also safe.
    I was so surprised to read how tall everyone is in your family. I'm a shrimp! I'm only 5'2", but I take up a lot of space. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marie SmithOctober 9, 2022 at 3:16 PM

    It’s good you could talk to your brother, Linda. Boundaries are good. Well done my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  6. PixieOctober 9, 2022 at 4:31 PM

    I'm glad you got to talk to him and also glad that your cautious. Sending hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Debra She Who SeeksOctober 9, 2022 at 6:31 PM

    I'm glad you were able to re-establish a connection with your brother in a safe way.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ColetteOctober 10, 2022 at 5:28 AM

    I felt the same way about my two brother's who died. I didn't really know them as well as I wished, but I loved them with my whole heart. Family. It's hard not to love them.

    ReplyDelete

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