Thursday, August 4, 2022

Face Up to Your Fears

I had lunch with a friend. She’s a rockstar. Her life is very disciplined with self care, exercise, recovery and deliberate but limited socializing. She meditates, reads like it is nourishment, and rides her bike thousands of miles each month.

I asked her why, since she is financially set and fully retired at 52, she doesn’t move to a place like San Diego or Santa Barbara where she could ride her bike year round. She had a few reasons but one of them struck me. First she mentioned that the lack of seasons would bore her, she loves the change. Then she spoke of familiarity and fearlessness. She knows every road, every bike trail, every neighborhood. She knows where to go and, more importantly, where not to go.

As I sit here in my car doing my morning writing, meditation and study, I see a trailhead not 30 feet from my door. It calls to me but not loud enough to overcome the lack of knowing the area. I don’t know if I should feel safe or not and it makes me ache for what I know. It also gives me hope of becoming friends with this city that I now call home. I believe that this city will be the one that walks Boy Scout and I home when our time comes, so I must make it a friend that I know like the back of my hand. I want to be familiar with her. I want to get to know her trails and her rivers and I’d like to feel fearless while I do it.  



6 comments:

  1. You need a dog to walk with, that helps. Your deafness would be a huge obstacle to feeling safe while alone. Your friend sounds awesome.

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  2. It's rejuvenating to make friends with a new city! But it does take time, attention and energy, it's true.

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  3. 🧡 I do not understand fearless. No one is fearless if they admit it. They just chose to take the jump even though they have fear. I believe fear allows us to be cautious, not stupid. I believe fear can be a good thing if not the paralzing kind. Be kind to yourself. You have lots of time to learn. Remember you've only ever lived in one state your entire life. It gets easier but it takes time, and I'm impatient. Be kind to you. You moved and that was fearless! Doesn't mean you didn't have fear, you just walked through it and found you could survive and thrive and grow a little possibly. It will only get better. I for one can't wait to speak to you about this in 2028. 😀

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  4. Give yourself time and listen to others in the area. You’ll learn where it’s safe and be happy to embrace it.

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  5. It takes a lot of time and effort for a new place to feel familiar, and to feel like home. You are on your way.

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  6. I love reading about your friend. Yes, she is a rock star. It's good to get to know a place so well that you know every safe trail and street to walk on. You are on your way!

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