Tuesday, June 21, 2022

A Change Of Heart

Back from out trip. It was amazing and amazingly fast. Not nearly enough time to do all that we needed or wanted to do but we did what we could.

It was a comfort to know that as we headed back to Oregon, we both felt that we were headed "home". This last year and three months have been tumultuous and heartbreaking but there have been many good things that have emanated from the chaos. Boy Scout and I have taken our relationship to a level that I, with my damaged heart and severed trust, never thought would happen. We are stronger and more solid than we have ever been before. I chock some of that up to a renewed and flourishing relationship with myself. Loving myself is a far better foundation than building on another person. I can love him, and others, much more freely as I develop a genuine like for the person I am, not despite all my flaws, but because of them. I am perfectly imperfect.

We decided to put a ring on it. Nope, we didn't get married but we did have a little ceremony expressing our hopes and dreams as we walk each other home.

He got a traditional gold band, strong and solid, and when I think of it, it makes me smile. I, on the other hand, went a little less traditional. I don't care for diamond rings much because they just don't suit me. Instead, me and my girl went hunting. We found a little shop in Ventura and got a bit of sea glass set in silver. My girl bought my ring and she joined us as we exchanged our promises. Having her there added so much to my joy. How perfect. That little town by the sea brought us together and even though we no longer live there, a little piece of the town will stay on my finger, reminding me of love. Love for my Boy Scout, for my kids that were raised there, for the community the I left behind but miss so much, and for the promise of renewal. Like the ocean, life is ever changing.

I've had a great lesson on embracing the change.


  1. I am so happy for you both, Linda. Congratulations! You found yourself and each other! Welcome home!

  2. Congrats on your commitment ceremony! Love your choice of ring! Lesbigay people used to have commitment ceremonies all the time in the days before marriage equality, so there's a fine tradition for everyone to continue if they don't want a traditional union!

  3. Congratulations on your beautiful rings of love. I am so happy for you and glad you had such a good journey in so many ways.

  4. Congratulations and that is a beautirul ring. I love sea glass.
    I am so glad that you are loving yourself. It's not easy, I struggle with this as well. Sending hugs.

  5. Slowly, slowly everything changes. Congratulations on your beautiful commitment ceremony.

  6. That is beautiful! I am so, so happy for you and Boy Scout--that you found each other, that you've moved through this really tough time together and are stronger now, and that you've found another place to call home. There is room in our hearts for different homes. May you continue to grow together and individually, continue to learn about each other, and share many moments of joy and peace together!

  7. congratulations on the committment ceremony!! Sounds perfect just like the two of you!


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