What Do You Regret?

Lord I was young. Not only young but my world was very small. I preface this story with that because it is important to give myself some leeway, allowing a little bit of grace. And maybe I am asking a little of the same from you.

I am from a family with a great work ethic and we all have worked our way up to really decent middle class jobs but we were not especially informed or remotely political. 

I had snagged a great job with a great local family and had been promoted to a position that had me pinching myself. My boss and I traveled to Atlanta to meet with a division of Donnelly Marketing. They were wooing us. They should have wooed us, we were a nice little bit of very consistent business. At the height, I was mailing about 60 million pieces of mail a year. So, more than a million cards were going out weekly.

Yes....they were wooing us in Atlanta. Took us to come great meals. Put us up in a lovely hotel and set up a number of pressure filled meetings. We were asking for some things, they were asking for some things. All that give and take going on.

After they made a request, my employer looked over at me and said, "Do you think you would be able to to that for me? That would be helpful."

I looked at my boss, who was also my friend, I smiled at him and said, "You da Boss!"

Yep, I did that. At a business meeting with about 25 people sitting at tables set up in a circle. Of those 25, probably 17 were black. 

I cringe at this memory and my stupidity and wish I could go back and apologize for my words.

They call what I do now a "living amends". I try hard to understand what it is like to walk in another person's shoes. I try hard to understand the privilege I experience just because of the color of my skin. I attempt to vote on the side of advocates that seem to do the same.

I try.....