Late Bloomers

They say that leopards don't change their spots but sometimes they do.

If you've been following me awhile, you know that the Boy Scout and I have had quite a few ups and downs. No blame.....we chose each other to fill the emptiness and unmet needs that we were mostly unaware of. We fit the old molds quite well. I am probably more like his mother than he would like to admit and in ways that he is not aware of and he definitely has some of my fathers qualities, some good and some not so good.

I got into Adult Children of Alcoholics and tried to heal but, honestly, it was extremely hard when the Boy Scout pushed all the right buttons consciously and subconsciously. The right buttons, unfortunately, produced rage and victimhood (I had to do a lot of work to recognize that).

One day he realized that he might be helped too and off to ACA he went. That was the start of the new beginning. It has taken a long time and there is a long way to go but this man, who wore a Tommy Suit that covered up all of his vulnerabilities in unhealthy ways to varying degrees, is becoming a new man. I like it.

We both try, emphasis on try, for emotional sobriety. We both try to understand what and why we are feeling instead of being resentful for experiencing uncomfortable feelings. We both try to be kind and we are learning to speak up for ourselves without starting a war.

All good things that many people learned as children but are not lost on two senior citizens who, day in and day out, are just trying to do better.