Listen Up

I want to be a better listener. I am already pretty good but I want to hone those skills so that I can hear people's stories and be worthy of the sharing.  

In the beginning of our relationship, I think my ways of getting personal made the Boy Scout uncomfortable. He's an extrovert that can flit from this to that and as long as everyone in the room seems happy, he's pretty comfortable, and people love him. I am built quite different. Let me sit down with a single person, almost anyone, and have them really tell me about themselves and I am at home. I will ask some personal questions but only if the sharing has begun and if the person seems open to it.


Admittedly he has changed in the last couple of years and his fears of being vulnerable and digging deeper have lessened but we are built different. Neither wrong or right, just different. There's a place for both of us.



Comments

  1. PixieJune 6, 2021 at 2:01 PM

    I've improved my listening skills as I've gotten older. We all have our stories to tell I realize now. A story needs a teller and a listener for the story to be told.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Marie SmithJune 6, 2021 at 2:43 PM

    You complement each other. It sounds like a good combination when understanding goes along with it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Debra She Who SeeksJune 6, 2021 at 8:12 PM

    Extroverts and introverts have a lot to learn from each other about different ways of being, it's true.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rachel ThomasJune 7, 2021 at 6:10 AM

    I definitely agree with the quote!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shari BurkeJune 7, 2021 at 11:03 AM

    I'm like you! Back in the days when Bill and I were doing life story work with people, I did the interviews and he did the tech stuff. I used to ask open-ended questions and pay close attention. There was always a moment when the person being interviewed would be talking about something and suddenly light up. Then I would ask questions about that topic in broad ways--they would be so happy to be talking about stuff that they loved and that was important to them and in the course of talking about whatever subject that was, there would be info about family, domestic life, hobbies, and more. And every single person felt grateful to be listened to and said so. They even seemed surprised by this. It taught me a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)June 7, 2021 at 1:06 PM

    Sometimes people talk but tell you nothing. I have felt that way and went on the essense and the feeling they gave me. Can I ask more? Don't want to offend or over step or make anyone feel uncomfotable. For instance I think I told you that I felt I couldn't ask some things because I felt the person was guarded. When they said they weren't it was okay then. It could also be because I am like Boy Scout and that is why I felt that way. Maybe they weren't at all but their language was so different from mine that I wasn't reading the situation correctly. I never ever want to over step. I think sometimes that can seem like I don't care. But it's just to let that person know when they are ready I'm here. Does this make sense? I sometimes think that if everyone is up front and honest it all works out.But some people are very senisitve and can't take that can of talk. If someone said, "I don't wish to devulge that or I don't wish to talk about that. I can respect that. It is dropped! If they asked me something and it made me uncomfortable I want to be able to say, I'm not comfortable going there yet and not hurt anyones feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  7. JeanieJune 11, 2021 at 7:36 AM

    We're all built different. And, if we are very lucky, we all learn how to work with that!

    ReplyDelete

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