Where Do You Go?
Yesterday’s blog about emotional sobriety was timely.
Immediately after the posting, the Boy Scout texts me, telling me his car has been stolen. I call him and he assures me he is not joking, the car is gone. My mind starts racing with the “what if’s and now whats.” I remember to breathe and calm myself down and stay present.
I head home to a understandably sober Boy Scout. He gets on the phone with the police using his in charge business tone, he calls the insurance company and is cranky and big in personality. He calls the claims hotline and is down right rude to the interactive voice response and then, finally, makes his claim. Then another call and I hear him laughing uproariously, doing that smokers hack that begs for oxygen. It goes on for quite awhile, laughing, joking, completely light hearted. Surprised, I go out to realize he is talking to who else, but his ex. They are having a good ole time. Fabulous! He barely spoke to me. Why is she getting his best?
Then I remember my post from yesterday and start to think about how I want to handle this, who I want to be. We are taught that are feelings are valid but that doesn’t mean we get to take them to an extreme and blow up, blow out, frost over or whatever other options our old mindset used to find. DRAMA
Hurt feelings were a betrayal in my family of origin. Black and white thinking leaves little room for others.
So I remain inside myself, taking time to quiet my racing thoughts, acknowledge what I feel and wait until I can present it calmly, like an adult.
Turns out you can teach an old broad new tricks.
Addendum......ok, so later things did not go as well as I would have liked. Better next time🙏🏻
calls his ex? that ain't right. da fuq?
ReplyDeleteI was hoping you were going to write that the Boy Scout was laughing because his ex had actually stolen the car. I hope things are better now. Calm and good.
ReplyDeleteStress usually brings out the worst in everybody, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteI think the way you handled the situation was a good choice. I know if I react to something right away without thinking it through, it doesn't end up good but instead makes the situation worse. Wishing you a happy day and weekend!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful you could look at the situation dispassionately though and keep calm. That’s what it’s all about.
ReplyDeleteI say hats off to you and well done. That it didn't go as well as you have liked is disappointing but you know you did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be happy if my husband was calling his ex and laughing with her while not talking to me. That's not cool.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on keeping your cool at first but really, he is in the wrong.
Some days are like that. We cannot be all good all the time. Don't be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteThis was a tough one. I give you an A for effort.
ReplyDeleteI get why that would sting a little but there is history there. FAmiliarity brings on the laughter. I am certain you two have the same laughter about things at times. He's with you - enjoy it that he can be a good man, kind and big enough to laugh with a person he dumped and chose you!
ReplyDeleteI see it didn't post.I'll try again.
ReplyDeleteYou had a jealous moment, you shared it with Boy Scout. But why did it make you jealous? That is the question. If I were I would have told him it makes me feel awful when you do.....let them take care of it because they/he cares how you feel.
They do have a history. If you were laughing with your ex on the phone would he get jealous? There is no way Boy Scout is leaving you, you know that, so relax and be thankful he has a big enough heart not to be hateful to her. You've got the goods he wants. You are the prize. You need to realize that. He already does!
Good to know you gave it your best! By the way, I see my ex several times a year at family gatherings. We laugh a lot but only because we don't like each other enough to have a real conversation!
ReplyDelete