Speaking My Peace

 As time goes on, peace has started to fill the large pockets of the anxiety, discontent, unworthiness and shame that existed inside me for as far back as I can remember. 

My very first memory, at 18 months, is a shame filled one. That feeling has been lifelong companion.

I have learned to identify shame, how it feels in my body, then fill that area with loving kindness, the kind of love that a mother gives a child, wrapped in tenderness, I give that to myself now. It is a purposeful exercise that I do with that emotion as well as anxiety, self criticism, or any other feeling that washes over and threatens to overwhelm and make me small. I am learning to observe, and in the observing, disable or diminish the power of the feeling.

I like peace. It's there when I wake in the morning, when I go for a ride in the car, when I am gardening, when I talk to my kids, when I golf (aw, that's a lie.....golfing can be difficult when it comes to peace), and when I close my eyes at night. 

What a gift I am giving on daily basis. I think I'll keep it up.


Comments

  1. ColetteAugust 26, 2020 at 9:14 AM

    What a beautiful gift.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)August 26, 2020 at 9:29 AM

    💓💓💓💓❤

    ReplyDelete
  3. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)August 26, 2020 at 9:32 AM

    I am so glad you are healing.
    You are a gift!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marie SmithAugust 26, 2020 at 10:14 AM

    The peace is wonderful! Well done, Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  5. anne marie in phillyAugust 26, 2020 at 10:27 AM

    another gift is waking up alive on THIS side of the grass each day. and you get a blank sheet of paper to write/draw/color on each day.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Peter ClothierAugust 26, 2020 at 12:38 PM

    The Buddha... always a reliable source of excellent advice, but it takes a real effort of concentration and attention to hear it. I love the phrase "resting in attention", which describes that sense of peace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Debra She Who SeeksAugust 26, 2020 at 7:26 PM

    There was a best-selling self-help book about 30 years ago by John Bradshaw, called "Healing the Shame That Binds You." I read it and found it extremely helpful too. We live in a shame-based culture and it's hard not to absorb those destructive messages.

    ReplyDelete
  8. JeanieAugust 27, 2020 at 6:27 AM

    Peace -- it's a powerful word and a powerful feeling. And when you find it, you don't ever want to let it go.

    ReplyDelete
  9. BillAugust 28, 2020 at 2:01 PM

    Thanks for sharing with us. Always nice to hear other people's thoughts on finding peace in their lives. It's constant work at least for me it is. Have a lovely weekend!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

A Journey To Home

Image
My tender hearted girl decided she wanted to foster an old lady. Selkie is 14, is nearly deaf and nearly blind, has a hard time walking and uses her bark to get her needs met.  She got her home, took her for a bath and then basically loved this old girl for three weeks until the property manager decided that it wasn’t a good match (barking too much AND because she is a pit bull).  My girl knew it was probably temporary but she gave that dog a comfortable loving home, away from the chaos of the shelter, for a short time.  Ideally, she would have walked her home but that’s not how it worked this time.  Last night she stood and ugly cried on a strangers shoulder after giving her back.  I love that girl and her sweet heart.  I wish Selkie a new final home full of love. 
Read more

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary...
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  I...
Read more