To Thine Own Self Be True

When I was 12, our family got a great gift of happiness. One of my sisters gave birth to my first of many nephews. That baby brought with him a lot of joy and hope that had been missing for awhile. To this day, I love that man to bits.

I was texting him this morning when he announced that he was only living to 48. Had he mentioned it to me? He must have.  NO darling, you haven't mentioned that little tidbit....do explain to my why you have only 4 years left on the planet. He proceeds to tell me that while using acid at 24, he was told that he was half way done.

Of course, makes perfect sense right? I mean, while you see things as they are NOT, and while trees are breathing, and walls melting, perhaps the sky falling in on you and.....once you're done, you realize the sky is not falling, walls melting or trees breathing but yeah....you're still half way done.

What the bloody hell?

This little goody two shoes would have stood in judgement at the reckless behavior and stupidity in the logic at one point......wait....I guess I still am. Ah well, I've still got a lot to learn about acceptance and letting everyone have their own truth. 

Live and let live.

Comments

  1. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)April 17, 2020 at 9:19 AM

    I have never done those types of mind altering drugs but I still would feel the same as he does. I get it. So until his 49th birthday he will always think about this. Poor kid.
    My mom died at 43. I always thought I would too. I didn't. It wasn't rational. I knew that but it didn't stop my mind from going there. I breathed a big sigh on my 44th birthday!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda devApril 17, 2020 at 9:43 AM

      In don’t pretend to understand. It scares me and I have to take a step away and just love him.

      Delete
  2. anne marie in phillyApril 17, 2020 at 9:29 AM

    VERY unhealthy attitude there. can you alert other family members/medical professionals as to what's happening?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda devApril 17, 2020 at 9:42 AM

      I wish. He is a rock unto himself. He learned it at his fathers knee. That man thought he had it all worked out, too closed off to ever question is own thoughts. It sever him poorly until he died alone

      Delete
  3. Debra She Who SeeksApril 17, 2020 at 9:50 AM

    Let's hope it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy -- power of suggestion and all that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ColetteApril 17, 2020 at 12:11 PM

    Sigh. I hope at some point he lets go of this. I was doing acid as a young woman and ate a bowl of Campbell's bean with bacon soup. I swear the beans cried out in pain as I chewed them up. At first I thought I must stop eating anything that was once alive. Then I realized there would be nothing to eat. If LSD does anything, it reaches into your unconscious mind and yanks its chain. Very often it (the UC) doesn't welcome the intrusion and reacts badly. It is, after all, still just you. This is the stuff of "bad trips." That doesn't make them true. However, I know - he will believe what he wants to believe. I am sad for him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 17, 2020 at 1:09 PM

      Oh my, Colette. Being who I am, what you say freaks me out a bit. At the same time, I’m terribly curious too. Have you ever written about it?

      Delete
  5. JeanieApril 17, 2020 at 12:50 PM

    I was just so relieved I lived to be older than my mom. I was sure I'd be on the early end. And maybe I will be in the grand continuum of things. But I'm not ready yet. I hope he isn't either. (I hope he was joking...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 18, 2020 at 6:28 AM

      He wasn't but I expect he will be surprised just like so many of us when the date comes and goes.

      Delete
  6. Marie SmithApril 17, 2020 at 1:39 PM

    My father died at 60 and I wondered if I would. It was an unexpected relief.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 18, 2020 at 6:27 AM

      I can imagine it was. Funny how so many people do that.

      Delete
  7. AnonymousApril 17, 2020 at 3:23 PM

    Maybe "halfway done" meant enlightenment, and that when he gets to be 48, he'll know what it all means. Not death but a complete understanding of it all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 18, 2020 at 6:28 AM

      Perhaps, even on acid, it's how we look at the world. Positive or negative....we get to choose.

      Delete
  8. SabineApril 18, 2020 at 3:37 AM

    Ah but "halfway" while on acid could mean anything. Time expanding and stuff, no?
    At least he had a most memorable experience.

    ReplyDelete
  9. BillApril 19, 2020 at 11:45 AM

    My dad died when he was 67 and I always wondered if I would live that long. I was 21 at the time and his age seemed like it would take forever to reach and really I didn't think I would. I worked out the exact date when I would be older than him and I just passed it last month. I find it incredible to still be alive at this age. I take it as a gift.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

A Journey To Home

Image
My tender hearted girl decided she wanted to foster an old lady. Selkie is 14, is nearly deaf and nearly blind, has a hard time walking and uses her bark to get her needs met.  She got her home, took her for a bath and then basically loved this old girl for three weeks until the property manager decided that it wasn’t a good match (barking too much AND because she is a pit bull).  My girl knew it was probably temporary but she gave that dog a comfortable loving home, away from the chaos of the shelter, for a short time.  Ideally, she would have walked her home but that’s not how it worked this time.  Last night she stood and ugly cried on a strangers shoulder after giving her back.  I love that girl and her sweet heart.  I wish Selkie a new final home full of love. 
Read more

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary...
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  I...
Read more