Click Click Click
Today the Boy Scout has surgery to put plates on his broken ribs. He knew there was something wrong because he felt clicking inside. Hopefully, starting tomorrow, he'll be on the mend.
The man has had many surgerys aside from the three he has had since I met him. The two new knees and a rotator cuff are recent. The surgerys stemming from the 16 year old, drunk and high girl, that demolished his car late one night when he was 24, were numerous. In a residential area, the neighbors left him for dead, lying on the sidewalk, yards from the mangled car he was driving. He loves to tell people that he used to be good looking. The man doesn't know exactly what happened to that girl since her rough around the edges father threatened him when he showed up, on crutches, to her trial. He didn't bother to go back....I think he had enough on his plate.
Broken this and broken that....he's used to it all.
Last night we spoke of the things you should speak of .... just in case. Cremation and "put him wherever I want" was the answer to the questions. We are not married and have only known each other for five years so I thought I should double check. With a warm smile he said, "Everything I have is yours" and we went on to the next subject.
At 55, I find this subject so much easier to talk about than earlier decades. I'm ok with leaving this earth when I do. Won't mind a bit if it waits awhile before absorbing me back into the fold but I no longer have the feeling of holding on, digging my nails in with every last bit of strength.
What about you?
The man has had many surgerys aside from the three he has had since I met him. The two new knees and a rotator cuff are recent. The surgerys stemming from the 16 year old, drunk and high girl, that demolished his car late one night when he was 24, were numerous. In a residential area, the neighbors left him for dead, lying on the sidewalk, yards from the mangled car he was driving. He loves to tell people that he used to be good looking. The man doesn't know exactly what happened to that girl since her rough around the edges father threatened him when he showed up, on crutches, to her trial. He didn't bother to go back....I think he had enough on his plate.
Broken this and broken that....he's used to it all.
Last night we spoke of the things you should speak of .... just in case. Cremation and "put him wherever I want" was the answer to the questions. We are not married and have only known each other for five years so I thought I should double check. With a warm smile he said, "Everything I have is yours" and we went on to the next subject.
At 55, I find this subject so much easier to talk about than earlier decades. I'm ok with leaving this earth when I do. Won't mind a bit if it waits awhile before absorbing me back into the fold but I no longer have the feeling of holding on, digging my nails in with every last bit of strength.
What about you?
The closer it gets the easier it gets. I have no problem talking about these things as you can imagine. However It is very difficult for my step mom to talk about this stuff. Dad is gone now and since he passed in April we have begun asking her some questions. She won't answer us. My sister told her not answering us does not make you live forever. She laughed but still won't give us answers.
ReplyDeleteThe ostrich technique. It works well for some I suppose but makes it harder for those who remain.
DeleteIt IS easier to talk about now, because we have ideas, preferences. And, we know our time is finite. Maybe if it's terribly imminent it gets harder for the family but for the individual, easier. I wish him well with the surgery and recovery. He is so lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jeanie. So far so good.
DeleteIf this is my last day, I am ready. No regrets.
ReplyDeleteHope you special someone heals quickly again!
Thank you Marie.
DeleteI don't worry about the journey, it will come eventually. This is the time to enjoy every minute left that we have. Hope your scout has an uneventful surgery and recuperates fast.
ReplyDeleteStaying in the present. I try.
DeleteI try to live my best life, exactly because I don't want to regret anything. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail, but I'm always trying. Best wishes to your guy on his latest surgery. Not fun.
ReplyDeleteAll we can do is try. Thanks Colette.
Deletegood for you two to talk about things like death and dying. BUT get it in writing! otherwise, you both won't have a legal leg to stand on and other people will make decisions with which you might not be happy.
ReplyDeletemy spouse is having his right hip replaced next week. we got powers of attorney and advance directives written this year; a copy of each will be going to the hospital for them to scan into their database.
good luck to the boy scout!
You guys got it all in order. I need to get that done.
DeleteAfter my mother's - in all aspects - miserable death we actually went to a notary to register our living wills and power of attorney and, in sealed envelopes, our wishes regarding funeral (must keep the suspense going).
ReplyDeleteThere is a lot of talk about death and dying in my family, the Irish side of it never shuts up.