Does Your Doctor Listen?
It is not uncommon for women's concerns to be dismissed as "emotional" or "hormonal" or even dismissed without an explanation. Most of us have discussed the issues we have had with doctors with other women, who can usually confirm their similar experiences, but now there are studies that prove it so.
About 18 years ago, I went to my Gyno for a yearly exam. When discussing overall health I expressed to him a problem with, not just low libido, but nonexistent sex drive. Zero Zilch Nada. I also let him know about a particular problem with dryness. I was perimenopausal at the time. He did listen...and the answer I got was that I needed to schedule a "date night" with my husband and use personal lubricant. I, being an obedient rule follower, gave it up as a bad job and accepted both the lack of libido and the extreme dryness as getting old. Fast forward 12 years (YES, 12 DAMN YEARS) and a trip to the new doc in the office and she notices a couple of things....thinning of the vaginal walls and dryness. She asks me if I have been treated for either. I let her know that I had brought the issue up with older gent in the office more than once and got the same answer. She looks at me all cock-eyed and then proceeds to prescribe a medication that treated both conditions very effectively with minimal side effects (and I didn't even have to schedule a fricken date).
Further back then that, I was having trouble with UTI associated with sexual activity. It is not uncommon but I was getting the run around and suffering tremendously. Anyone who has had a UTI knows that it's not as if you can just go on with your day and ignore the symptoms. NOT POSSIBLE. I went from doctor to doctor until finally I went to a urologist that was recommended. I was on the table and he examined me for 30 SECONDS and got up with disgust and said, "She has a yeast infection. Get her out of here." For fuck sake, of course I had a yeast infection! I had been on 8 rounds of antibiotics! I still had a UTI but, clearly, he didn't give a damn.
Both times, I was angier than shit!
That's just my example of being ignored.
Do you have one or two or three?
You are the expert
ReplyDeleteAny nurse would tell you that
Ps I am a uti sufferer
My mother almost died from a ruptured gall bladder. She was sent home from the hospital and my father called the family Dr the next day when she turned yellow. They wouldn’t listen to her at the Emergency no matter what she said.
ReplyDeleteMy husband’s grandmother was treated poorly by the only urologist in the city where she lived. She had bladder cancer and was shuffled aside because she was in her early eighties. Just awful treatment. The whole family thought it was because she was a woman.
Fortunately, my family dr. does listen, but it takes ages to get in to see him. I've also had UTI issues, like you. I think a lot of the symptoms were due to perimenopausal shifts in hormones (and it didn't always come up as a UTI when tested). This might not work for you, and of course, I am not a dr., so take it for what it is, but when I feel those twingy symptoms, I drink about a teaspoon or more of baking soda mixed up in a glass of water. After about half an hour, it's gone. Curious, what were you given that helped you for the lack of libido, etc. (if you are willing to share)? -Jenn
ReplyDeletewhen I had my cancer surgery, my MALE GYN bitched that he had to miss his tee time to operate on me. boo fucking hoo!
ReplyDeleteafter the surgery, I vowed NEVER to see another MALE MD EVER! I found a female GYN more sensitive to my needs.
my family MD is also a female and she listens to me.
PS - years later I found out the MALE GYN was having an affair; I outed him to his wife. karma is a bitch!
Which is why I have - over the years - switched to female doctors in all departments incl. dentist. They can be bitchy, yes, but I know THAT.
ReplyDeleteUgh, doctors can be total jerks. I've had a run-in with a couple of prime examples over the years.
ReplyDeleteI strongly prefer women doctors.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletesorry 'bout that. I wanted to share that I too told my dr about my libido and he asked, so you care that it is lower? I said of course I am only 42. He said, "Oh you're one of those."
ReplyDeleteWTF? So I was slut shamed because I didn't want to feel this way with my hubby? I found another doctor and there was underlying issue and thank God all went back to normal. But seriously if your gyno is going to slut shame you then you need a new dr and a female dr STAT.
Yes they hand out viagara like pez for peckerheads at age 75 who are widowed. They are not slut shamed.
Don’t be. Great minds think alike!
DeleteHaven't been to a male doctor in years. This is exactly why.
ReplyDeleteI think that being a Senior AND being a Woman creates even more Medical bias about not feeling or being Heard.
ReplyDeleteAgreed!
DeleteI really have no experiences of being ignored or heard. I must have the best family practice guy in the world. He really is caring, attentive, thinks outside the box and probably is responsible for me getting to the right specialists at the right time. I feel for the stories I've read here.
ReplyDelete