Holding Space
He approached me from the sidewalk. Thin, quite angular, spare in his movements, with a shock of white hair. While his clothes looked well worn, they were clean. He could’ve easily been mistaken for an aging environmentalist and, for all I know, he is.
But he started talking about the lottery first. Told me how one should play Fantasy5 because the others pulled from more numbers. He started spouting off statistics, something about Farmers Insurance and how much money you and 5 of your friends would get if you won the lottery. Then, when you win, you go to Bank of America and put your money in a box and wait until someone who is getting a divorce and is selling a 1965 muscle car. He will need the money so you can pick it up for $6,000 and sell it for $15,000.
I made some assumptions about this man and felt a little nervous but then I tried hard to see him as person and not a label. It kind of worked. I was still being cautious but I stayed and listened. He told me that we women need to stop procreating and take our place to fix this world. He said we are the ones that power the sun.
He said, “Do you know what happens when a gun control law passes? People go crazy buying guns. What did they think would happen when they said they were going to build a wall?” Then he said he was in Vietnam and that he works with amputees to give back.
He was pretty much done and started to walk away. I told him to have an amazing day. He said he already did and “thank you for listening” then he crossed the street and got into a 15 year old, sea foam green minivan. That was unexpected.
I got in my car and felt a mixture of emotions. An ache for mentally ill and what they must have to encounter day in and day out, and a bit of sadness that I cannot explain. I’m glad I met him, gave him my attention and held space.
But he started talking about the lottery first. Told me how one should play Fantasy5 because the others pulled from more numbers. He started spouting off statistics, something about Farmers Insurance and how much money you and 5 of your friends would get if you won the lottery. Then, when you win, you go to Bank of America and put your money in a box and wait until someone who is getting a divorce and is selling a 1965 muscle car. He will need the money so you can pick it up for $6,000 and sell it for $15,000.
I made some assumptions about this man and felt a little nervous but then I tried hard to see him as person and not a label. It kind of worked. I was still being cautious but I stayed and listened. He told me that we women need to stop procreating and take our place to fix this world. He said we are the ones that power the sun.
He said, “Do you know what happens when a gun control law passes? People go crazy buying guns. What did they think would happen when they said they were going to build a wall?” Then he said he was in Vietnam and that he works with amputees to give back.
He was pretty much done and started to walk away. I told him to have an amazing day. He said he already did and “thank you for listening” then he crossed the street and got into a 15 year old, sea foam green minivan. That was unexpected.
I got in my car and felt a mixture of emotions. An ache for mentally ill and what they must have to encounter day in and day out, and a bit of sadness that I cannot explain. I’m glad I met him, gave him my attention and held space.
WOW! "He told me that we women need to stop procreating and take our place to fix this world." - THIS!
ReplyDeleteI am so very happy you paused and took him for what this man is - a true human being. He will treasure this encounter. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a kindness you did by listening and respecting him.
ReplyDeleteSo much to learn from our fellow travellers if we but stop and listen. Love this post!
ReplyDelete"THank you for listening." Sometimes that's all we have to do. I've hesitated to write about Rick and Paul, a mentally disabled man who befriended him years ago at Panera and now they do birthday celebrations together, Rick helped him get a bank account so he could save check cashing fees on his government check, and he listens.Sometimes he tries to fix and he knows he can't. But he's there.
ReplyDeleteYOU were there. Thank you.
Everyone needs someone to take time and listen. Many stories out there if we choose to listen and they can be powerful. Great post, Linda.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this, made me think.
ReplyDeleteMy immediate reaction (instinct? and if so, where does it stem from?) would have been to say something bland, non-committal and walk away - and think about it all day and what I could/should have said or done.