An Old Familiar Feeling

I feel like such a shit today.

 A few days ago my little one (who is not little) brought home a kitten she found abandoned in a parking lot. She giggled with her girlfriend when she told me she brought it home. 

 I said "NO". She will be moving out soon after graduation. She would have a difficult time finding a place that would take a cat. I DO NOT want a cat right now. I do not want to end up with it.

 I think she thought I would change my mind. Meanwhile she set about trying to find it a home, as the kitten stunk up the room and the tiny house, brought in more fleas than the two dogs put together and she grew more and more attached.

 Yesterday, she came home early to drop the cat off at a foster home, had something close to a panic attack because of timing and stress, fell apart at the woman's house and cried so hard she could barely breathe, committed to a friend to cut his hair, had a girlfriend that needed her love and attention and, on top of all that, had a big test for school.

 After the friends left, I went in to try and talk to her. It hurt. It hurts to see our kids hurt and know that all I had to do was to say "go get the cat". I did not. I did however help her clean the wood floors and rip the lining off the box spring where the kitten had pooped and peed. 

 This morning the room smells a little better, the cat is gone, the girl is at school taking her test and I am sitting here feeling like a piece of shit mom.

 Ah well, this is not an unfamiliar feeling. I can live with it.

Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyJuly 10, 2019 at 10:22 AM

    you did the right thing. it's your house, your rules.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JenniferJuly 10, 2019 at 10:26 AM

    You DID do the right thing. Your daughter is close to being an adult, and it won't hurt her to "woman up" so to speak and do the right thing. You'll both be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  3. DUTAJuly 10, 2019 at 10:42 AM

    No reason at all for you to feel guilty. You set the boundaries and she has to accept them. It is for her own good. As a mother, and an older person with life experience, you know what's best. She should learn to trust you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BillJuly 10, 2019 at 10:46 AM

    You did the right thing but it was tough.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)July 10, 2019 at 11:02 AM

    to me you did the right thing and sometimes doing the right thing is harder and makes you feel worse. She needed this tough love lesson. Good job mom, stand tall and proud. She made it through this, the cat will be cared for and get a new home and all will be well. Tell yourself how great you are! The smell part of this story made me think of "smelly cat" on Friends. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Debra She Who SeeksJuly 10, 2019 at 11:59 AM

    I love cats but to me, you made the right decision about the kitten.

    ReplyDelete
  7. SabineJuly 10, 2019 at 12:02 PM

    You did the right thing. Of course it hurts but my guess is (from experience) that your daughter will move on from this so much faster than you. We carry the guilt and the hurt for them.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Marie SmithJuly 10, 2019 at 3:28 PM

    Doing the right thing is often tough. Well done!

    ReplyDelete
  9. KarenJuly 10, 2019 at 8:16 PM

    You did the right thing. My daughter was homeless with a dog and three cats. I have her more or less living here for now, with the dog. I have two elderly crabby old cats of my own so there was no way I could take them in. She left them with her Ex, who hates them. Us moms have to qui beating ourselves up over this shite.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My life so farJuly 11, 2019 at 7:03 AM

    You're not a shit mother, you did the right thing.

    ReplyDelete
  11. JeanieJuly 11, 2019 at 9:03 AM

    Poor mom, poor daughter, poor cat. But you did the right thing. Much as I adore cats, this isn't the way to get one!

    ReplyDelete
  12. ColetteJuly 12, 2019 at 8:44 AM

    I'm proud of you for sticking by your own wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Adie DasJuly 13, 2019 at 12:38 AM

    You didn't shy away from her intense feelings to make yourself feel better. You stood by her, accepted her emotions and endured them. You're a great mum. It had nothing to do with the cat.

    ReplyDelete

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