Tuesday, June 18, 2019

What's On The Inside?

My youngest posted a picture of me on social media after she styled my hair and added a sweet note of how beautiful she thinks I am.

I looked at that woman, who doesn't resemble me all that much, and struggled.

I had hoped we (you and I) would be the generation that taught our daughters how to love themselves unconditionally. We had the groundwork to do that. We had the Women's Rights movement. We had insights to self love and exposure to other ways of life such as Buddhism and the entire self help genre.

But I don't think we ever really got it. I know I didn't. I look at that aging woman in the picture and think, "Oh, if I were loaded, would I get a facelift?". I see young women today getting more plastic surgery than ever before....boobs, butts, botox. All to fulfill that fantasy of the perfect selfie, without looking deeper than the skin to find true happiness and love.

This may sound a little like granny saying, "Elvis will ruin our children", but that's not it. I had just hoped that women would be more accepting of themselves and each other...just as they are.

Self love requires a lot of footwork, introspection and a whole lot of forgiveness. I am working on that shit. It's a long hard haul but the difference has been worth it. Peace, sleep, self forgiveness, less drama and improved relationships have increased exponentially. The negative records in my head have lessened.

But still I look at her, that woman who looks 20 years older than I feel, and cringe just a bit. Got a little more work to go on this self love thing.


  1. When you figure this out please visit me and share. I struggle with this a great deal.
    I am not the old woman I see in the mirror, in my minds eye I am the 35 years old I see old photos of. And sadly I still wish my face was like that. I am not growing old gracefully I suppose. I have a friend who is a very frumpy woman. She just doesn't care. Her hair is always a hot mess, she just doesn't care. She wears hideous clothes and she just doesn't care. She says she's comfortable. She's happy. Will I ever get there?

  2. This is really hard, accepting age and the changes it brings. You are not alone. However, it can also be a huge relief. Self love, of course, is important. But it also helps to consider alternate standards of beauty than the one we are forced to confront by the media. If your youngest thinks you are beautiful, I suspect you are.

  3. The vile and oppressive teachings of the patriarchy are 5,000 years old. They won't be eradicated in one or two generations. All we can do is lay the groundwork for future growth. And keep working on ourselves!

    1. AMEN!!!! Carry on my sisters. We’ll keep trying.

  4. I AM (ALMOST) 65 AND FABULOUS! and I don't give five fat flying fucks what anyone thinks of me!

  5. It is a long slow journey to self acceptance. I can’t say I’ve arrived yet either.

  6. I scared myself when I saw me in the mirror the other day so I get what you mean. At least only I saw it but it was a frightening look...


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