It's Ok

The other day my girl comes home from work and I can tell she's down. I wait.....which is something I have learned to do....wait. I am not pro at it, I must bite my tongue, resist the urge.

A few hours go by and she comes in to the room where we sit and out it comes.

Her dad, whom she loves very much, invites her up to a local camping spot. She doesn't especially want to go but makes the effort. She knows how much their camping experiences together were special to him (and her) and feels as if she can stop by for his sake. She gets there and he is not alone. He is with one of the guys from his sober living home. One thing about the sober living homes is that you can kind of tell the men who are trying hard and the ones who really are not. This is one of the guys who appears to be going through the motions but not actually getting it.

The Secret Keeper is happy to see her. After light talk, he seems to need to tell her about a recent problem and explain what happened. He and some buddies got caught fishing without a license and, apparently, the police detained them for a number of hours. As it turned out, they were detained because, since the Secret Keeper is on probation, they looked through his truck. Lo and behold, a syringe (not his of course) was spotted. It was Jo Smoos girlfriend's syringe (of course). And then, since he is on probation, they tested him. He tested positive. He went on to explain to my beautiful girl that he had not used, but when he saw the syringe...he licked it. 

And this addict, crazy in his addiction, thought that licking a dirty syringe would sound better than saying, "Oops, I slipped up and used", or "I am using again, but I am trying hard". Nope, licking a syringe....one little drop of liquid poison and your 300lb body told the cops, yep, there is meth in here. Ah well, who on this planet knows how to fathom an addicts logic.

So, I remember to pray for this man, for my sweet girl and the pain she feels and let them both go. I have no control, no sway, no way to make it better. I am powerless and gratefully so.

Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyApril 15, 2019 at 7:52 AM

    yep, let it go. and I hope your daughter turns her back on the secret keeper; no good can come of it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 17, 2019 at 6:30 AM

      I don't think that will ever happen but perhaps she can learn really good boundaries.

      Delete
  2. Marie SmithApril 15, 2019 at 8:39 AM

    It must be hard to see your girl go through this with her father. Letting go is the best you can do, besides listen which you did.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JenniferApril 15, 2019 at 9:57 AM

    That's such a shame. Apparently dad isn't really trying all that hard, either. It's too bad that your daughter has to live with his addict dysfunction in her life. Poor thing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)April 15, 2019 at 10:22 AM

    Oh this must be so hard for your daughter. I'm so sorry Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JeanieApril 15, 2019 at 1:07 PM

    Oh Linda, no words. I really feel for your daughter. She is clearly trying so hard and I know she must have felt the wind out of her sails with this. Sending love and hope for all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. BillApril 15, 2019 at 1:20 PM

    It's too bad dad still lies about his situation. Until he can face it and be truthful, your daughter will have to accept him for what he is. She'll learn but it's so sad for her and for him too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. MarthaApril 15, 2019 at 7:14 PM

    How sad. I'm so sorry for the pain your daughter is going through :(

    ReplyDelete
  8. coffeeontheporchwithmeApril 16, 2019 at 4:11 AM

    I am so sorry he had to burden your daughter with his problems. She didn't need to take that on. -Jenn

    ReplyDelete
  9. SabineApril 16, 2019 at 8:49 AM

    That last sentence says it all. You have come a long way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 17, 2019 at 6:27 AM

      Thank you....it is not easy or natural but it is necessary.

      Delete
  10. My life so farApril 17, 2019 at 3:47 AM

    Addiction is stronger than love, stronger than the will to live, stronger than the love for your child. It's like a cancer and I hate it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaApril 17, 2019 at 6:27 AM

      It is amazing how strong addiction is and yet I see that this man wants to live.

      Delete

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