Talk, Talk, Talk
We have a friend that we are very fond of. A chance meeting, when he completed our threesome on the golf course. You never know what your going to get when the course fills your empty spot on busy days, but Hank was a treat. He is a bad golfer and a very good sport.
Just one thing....he has trouble talking about anything but himself. He was called on it once, "It's all about you Hank, isn't it?", at which point it admitted that was a problem for him but yet it continues. We sat with him for 3 hours last night and of that 3 hours I might have talked a total of 10 minutes, many of those minutes was me asking questions in regards to his discourse. He even manages to keep the Boy Scout's normal loquaciousness to a minimum.
He did pointedly ask the appropriate questions, "How is your wrist?" "How is your work" and "How are the dogs?" and politely listened to the answers and then turned the conversation back to himself and, boy, this man can talk! It is frustrating and tiring.
Do you have any people like that? And how do you handle them?
Just one thing....he has trouble talking about anything but himself. He was called on it once, "It's all about you Hank, isn't it?", at which point it admitted that was a problem for him but yet it continues. We sat with him for 3 hours last night and of that 3 hours I might have talked a total of 10 minutes, many of those minutes was me asking questions in regards to his discourse. He even manages to keep the Boy Scout's normal loquaciousness to a minimum.
He did pointedly ask the appropriate questions, "How is your wrist?" "How is your work" and "How are the dogs?" and politely listened to the answers and then turned the conversation back to himself and, boy, this man can talk! It is frustrating and tiring.
Do you have any people like that? And how do you handle them?
I used to.
ReplyDeleteI have left them behind.
I did a nice thing to help her. I did more nice things to help her. Then she called me to help her. Then when I got my cancer diagnosis Rick was not around. I need to talk to someone, I called her. I said Hi, how are you? And ofr she went bitching, moaning, telling stories never coming up for air. Most often it was her typical negative crap and bitching. Then she said well I have to go. I called for support, a friend. It was all about her. I didn't feel right interrupting her to say Hey I need a friend, I'm scared.
So I removed her from FB and that started the removal of her from my life. I know it sounds harsh but it hit me like a ton of bricks that day. I don't need friends like that, it is one sided you know? I need a two way relationship.
BTW, good word, loquaciousness. :-)
If you ever got out here, or if we ever get out there...you will understand. Loquacious is a far better word than verbose with all its negative connotations. And a talker is nice to have around when my introvertedness tells me I just don't feel like engaging overly much. I get to listen and learn from the conversations and without the weighty responsibility of "holding my own".
DeleteAnd that is NOT harsh. I have removed many a person for that reason. Too old to be bothered!!!
I completely agree with Margaret!! I do not have time for people that take and take and never give! Takers will find people and suck them dry and then move on. I cannot be used like that anymore...better to move on without them and let them suck someone else dry! Fro real! Hugs Annster's Domain
ReplyDeleteBack at you Ann!
DeleteI do. And I try to arrange time with them only when I am mentally ready for it. OR, get together in a small group of three or four so the energy dynamic changes. But I know just what you mean.
ReplyDeleteI know individuals like that but I spend little to no time with them :) It is exhausting, and honestly, it's just not worth it. There isn't a fair exchange in conversation and there is nothing to be gained by it. These individuals may as well just sit in front of a mirror! LOL
ReplyDeleteI know a few of those. I do not associate with them. boring, obnoxious, selfish, self-centered idiots!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, I've met self-centred narcissists like this. I avoid them if I can because they are energy vampires.
ReplyDeletegood description.
DeleteAvoidance works well I find.
ReplyDeleteI've met plenty of those people, too. I try to avoid them as much as possible. Life's too short to entertain narcissists.
ReplyDeleteI used to work for someone like this. I felt trapped whenever he walked into my office because I knew he would be there way too long and talk the whole time.
ReplyDeleteI feel small with him sometimes. Like his world is so much bigger, making so much more money, meeting influential people of great affluence that my small world is not of much consequence.
DeleteWe used to have a neighbor that talked a lot when we crossed paths. I found it easy just to say I'm on my way to wherever and usually that would work. The person could talk for hours, It's best if you can just avoid the person.
ReplyDeleteI have a sister like this. I've learned to just walk away.
ReplyDelete