Take 5

I think I mentioned that the Boy Scout and I are working hard to remain a viable and loving couple. I went to pay him a visit tonight at work and the following is a retelling of a uncomfortable evening.

I get to the restaurant while the man is on break. We sit and talk and then I go sit at the bar when his break is over. At the bar are two of my favorite peoples so we sit and chat for awhile. It was nice. Time goes by and one of them, I’ll call Keith, who I have spoken of before (See here), starts on a rant, telling me what I am doing wrong. He’s says I’m not over my childhood, and I need to fucking let it go...over and over and over. A stoning, over drinking dude is telling me I’ve got problems for not accepting stoning and drinking as ok. The f bombs are flying, as they do whenever he drinks too much, and he let’s everyone know his truth, whether or not they ask. I already have issues with drunks but drunks telling me I need to get my shit together is not overly fun. I make allowances, he is my friend. Then tears start to fall down his face and he tell me how much he cares. I know normally that would be sweet but, truthfully, my gut is telling me to run...get out of there... vamoose. It takes all my strength to not to attack, not tell him to get the hell away and remain calm. I do a good job of not panicking and staying in my space.

Ideally, he does him and I do me but he was so busy doing me that he couldn’t see the drunk him. I really hate being around drunks. I never know when they will stop, their non-existent filters, what boundary they won’t honor. It sucks. As a child I felt scared and powerless when my dad was drunk. Tonight, reminding myself that I am no longer powerless helped a lot but I don’t really want to see my friend for awhile. I need a good long break.
Next time it happens, I believe I will excuse myself at the onset. I think that’s a good option. 

Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyFebruary 17, 2019 at 5:31 AM

    "Next time it happens, I believe I will excuse my self at the onset. I think that’s a good option." - THIS! NO ONE has the right to make you feel uncomfortable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JeanieFebruary 17, 2019 at 6:59 AM

    It does sound terribly uncomfortable. And yes, should there be a next time you will do that. But if anything, this experienced just reinforced what you know is right. I applaud you -- you have again found your power.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Debra She Who SeeksFebruary 17, 2019 at 8:43 AM

    Should Keith really be on your "friends" list? If he has to be, then yes, you're right -- do not be around him when he's drunk. You do not have to accept his abuse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaFebruary 17, 2019 at 6:12 PM

      Life has treated him rough and when sober, he is quite loveable. But one does have to question where the line is drawn.

      Delete
  4. MarthaFebruary 17, 2019 at 10:02 AM

    Boundaries are very important. Set them. And enforce them.

    Your option to excuse yourself from the onset is an excellent choice!

    ReplyDelete
  5. ColetteFebruary 17, 2019 at 10:31 AM

    I agree, you need a break from him. And a strategy prepared to get out the next time you are cornered by a drunk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaFebruary 17, 2019 at 6:13 PM

      Ugh! A good talk next time I see him sober might be in order.

      Delete
  6. BillFebruary 17, 2019 at 11:07 AM

    He needs to get over himself being so self-righteous. A break from him is a good decision.
    Enjoy your day, Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)February 18, 2019 at 3:27 AM

    Excellent option!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. My life so farFebruary 18, 2019 at 7:31 AM

    I can't stand drunks. People drinking and having fun is okay but when they slip over into maudlin/angry people, enough. Fuck off. I have better things to do with my time than listen to a drunk go on and on. I'm done.

    Your friend is not helping you, he's making excuses for his own behavior.

    ReplyDelete

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