Enters and Exits

Happy New Year! 2019 is here with quite a bang.

It looks as if I’m going to be on my own again.

We worked hard to give this ill fitting relationship a go. It hasn’t been easy at times but I am grateful for the growth I’ve had while here in thick of things. Now it’s new feelings, new fears, but I’ve learned to not run from those quite as hard.

So, this night, the first night in bed alone for a good long while, I remind myself that I can do this. I can do this moment even if it feels very uncomfortable and scary. My feet are angry, screaming for the warmth they have come to rely on. My nose, the one organ that seems to be getting stronger with age, is searching for the comfort of the scent I call home.

This teeny, tiny house is going to seem a whole lot roomier soon when the big man that I love leaves. It’ll be awfully quiet too.

That’s ok, I can do quiet if I have to.


Comments

  1. JeanieJanuary 2, 2019 at 6:58 AM

    I'm sorry, Linda. So very, very sorry.

    And yes, you can do alone. You can do quiet. And yes, you know you have taken a first step in this past year or so to discover that you can love again and that's empowering, even if at this moment it is a little lonely. Sending you energy, strength, and hope as you make your way into this new year. Doors work both ways, you know. Sometimes they stay locked for all the best reasons. Sometimes, in time, they slip open a wee bit and maybe there is connection. You'll know what is best for you. Peace in 2019.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)January 2, 2019 at 7:44 AM

    Oh this is what I was afraid of. You have made so many strides since I have begun reading you. You can do this too even though it really sucks! I sincerely hope for you that this can be worked out or through. But if not, you have proven that you can do quiet, you can do change and you can come out the other side even better and stronger. But your heart will need time. ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LindaJanuary 2, 2019 at 7:55 AM

      You know, I barely know you and and Jeanie but I am so grateful for a couple of warm hugs this morning. I'm not ok now but I will be.

      Delete
  3. anne marie in phillyJanuary 2, 2019 at 8:23 AM

    yes it sucks, and you will go thru the 5 stages of grief. BUT...YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE INVINCIBLE, YOU ARE WOMAN! play this video over and over again!

    https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=i+will+survive+gloria+gaynor&view=detail&mid=4FD83CF548E3C869382A4FD83CF548E3C869382A&FORM=VIRE

    ReplyDelete
  4. ColetteJanuary 2, 2019 at 9:24 AM

    I'm so sorry to hear this. My very best wishes to you for the new life you will have in 2019. you are right, you an do quiet. But most of all, you can do positive change. Sending lotsa love your way.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marie SmithJanuary 2, 2019 at 9:30 AM

    Oh Linda, sending a hug across the continent. You are strong and you can do this. Give yourself time. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Debra She Who SeeksJanuary 2, 2019 at 11:05 AM

    Hugs to you, Linda! Not every relationship is meant to last forever but we certainly learn from each one, both good and bad things. Onwards and upwards!

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnnsterwJanuary 2, 2019 at 11:47 AM

    I am very sorry to hear this Linda. I have been in this situation more times than I care to remember. Just keep moving forward...you CAN DEFINITELY do this! You do not NEED a man. Life would be nice with a companion but you can have just as much fun with friends. Hang in there! Hugs from a fellow single woman waiting in Mr. Right. I refuse to settle for Mr. Okay and you should not either! Hugs

    ReplyDelete
  8. DUTAJanuary 2, 2019 at 2:19 PM

    You can overcome any obstacle, provided you make yourself top priority, and learn to depend on no one but yourself.
    Happy 2019!

    ReplyDelete
  9. SabineJanuary 2, 2019 at 2:26 PM

    I am truly sorry to read this.

    Your last post about boundaries and crossing a line struck me in so many ways. It set off a string of thoughts about how we are being taken for granted and how we are so often "giving in" for the sake of not being alone.

    In this respect I feel you are showing us your strength and that means so very much to us women.
    You are not alone. Thank you for sharing your experience.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My life so farJanuary 3, 2019 at 2:36 AM

    What Sabine said.

    Sending hugs and love.

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousJanuary 3, 2019 at 7:02 AM

    You are damned right you can do whatever you have to do. You have been through scary times before. Go to meetings, reread the literature. Life is a journey.
    Hugs!
    Joyce

    ReplyDelete
  12. MarthaJanuary 3, 2019 at 11:56 AM

    Sending you hugs, Linda. And wishing you peace and joy in 2019 xo

    ReplyDelete
  13. LollyJanuary 4, 2019 at 5:19 AM

    Sometimes there aren't any words. Please know that I am thinking about you, and wishing you only the best things in life. Hugs to you friend.

    ReplyDelete
  14. BillJanuary 4, 2019 at 1:10 PM

    Now it's time to tap in to your strength reserves. You have plenty and this is just another chapter in your story. Onward you go as 2019 unfolds. The best to you, Linda!

    ReplyDelete

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