Wednesday, December 12, 2018

God Bless Us, Everyone!

When the 24th comes round, my Boy Scout will be found in the kitchen, showing his affection for me and the kids by sharing his love of cooking.

Not just the kids though, there will be an additional guest. The Secret Keeper (my ex) will be there too. When I share that, I'm not able to impart the astonishment I feel about that fact. You see, when the break up happened it was with some very unfortunate circumstances. If we look at the behaviors prior to the downfall, like lying, cheating, prostitution, stealing, drug use, and did I mention lying, you would think I would never be in the same room with that man again. I would think I would never be in the same room with that man again

But four amazing, forgiving kids, a strong desire to not carry anger for the rest of my life, an ACA and Al-Anon program, a blog to process my progress and the development of a modicum of empathy has brought this strange dinner party to our house. 

This man, living in a sober living house, has nowhere to be with his kids for the holidays. He is broken and struggling to stay clean. And while it's not my first choice, it is the right choice to facilitate this family holiday.

I am glad my kids love their father with some decent boundaries and, also, that he was once a devoted, engaged dad so that they have good memories and can still see that man through the person he is now. 

I am lucky that the Boy Scout is confident and has a heart for the mess that mental illness and drug addiction wreaked on a man who is lost.

I am grateful.


14 comments:

  1. I hope the holiday meal goes well for you and your family.

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  2. Boy Scouts a keeper. I hope all goes well and if there are boundaries set and discussed it should be fine. You go Linda! What strides. Proud of you and to "know" you and your strength.

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  3. This is a lovely and loving gesture that will mean so much to your children.

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  4. You have the real holiday spirit, your children will be proud. I hope the holiday meal brings happiness to you all.

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  5. Your hospitality and generosity of spirit will be a real Christmas gift to everyone involved.

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  6. This is what Christmas is all about, Linda. Bravo to all of you xo

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  7. Where there are children involved, there's bound to be forgiveness, kindness, understanding.
    You've got the right attitude.

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  8. Wow. This is really a beautiful story of forgiveness and caring. I love it, Linda. And I think I might just be having a little crush on the Boy Scout myself for being the kind of guy who says, "Yes, this is OK." One would like to think it should be, but I could see some offering resistance. Hold onto this fellow!

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  9. all I can say is to offer cyber hugs. :: hugs ::

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  10. You are phenomenal Linda!!! How wonderful you are to let that past go and be able to allow him in your presence again!!!! I hope he embraces this chance and keeps changing and makes some living amends to your entire family by being a better and better person every day! Congrats to you - may you be blessed for moving forward and letting go of all the hate after all the pain and suffering that was brought on by this man in your past!!! I wish I could hug you in person!!!! Merry Christmas - may you be hugely blessed!!!

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  11. You are a generous and loving soul, Linda. Kudos!

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  12. Forgiveness is a thing that will keep you healthy. I am glad you can do this for everyone involved, but mostly for you.

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