Sphere of Influence
Last night my man was at work when a young couple with a little girl came in sometime near closing at 9:00. They sat at the bar.......
"They sat at the bar" could be the start of a good joke but this is no joke at all. The man ordered a double brandy and the woman, a vodka. I don't think he said what the little girl got. The man was LOUD and for my man, who is loud, to say someone is loud means they were probably obnoxiously loud. They finished their drinks and the gent ordered another. The woman loudly said, "NO", but he got his 2nd when she decided she needed her second. A bit later she ordered shots and the little girl sat.
Eventually, the couple was asked to leave, at which point they asked the Boy Scout where the nearest bar was. They were off to drink some more; little girl in tow.
My only hope is that there is someone in this little girl's life that is loving and caring. Studies clearly show that children who survive and do OK in the face of dysfunction, addiction and abuse in their upbringing almost always have a person of deep influence that tells them they have value and encourages them that there is another way to live that does not resemble their household.
I hope to heaven she does.
ps With my whole heart, I believe in the caring of a fantastic teacher, the unconditional love of a grandparent, the nurturing from a neighbor and the ability to have a positive influence on a neglected child's life.
"They sat at the bar" could be the start of a good joke but this is no joke at all. The man ordered a double brandy and the woman, a vodka. I don't think he said what the little girl got. The man was LOUD and for my man, who is loud, to say someone is loud means they were probably obnoxiously loud. They finished their drinks and the gent ordered another. The woman loudly said, "NO", but he got his 2nd when she decided she needed her second. A bit later she ordered shots and the little girl sat.
Eventually, the couple was asked to leave, at which point they asked the Boy Scout where the nearest bar was. They were off to drink some more; little girl in tow.My only hope is that there is someone in this little girl's life that is loving and caring. Studies clearly show that children who survive and do OK in the face of dysfunction, addiction and abuse in their upbringing almost always have a person of deep influence that tells them they have value and encourages them that there is another way to live that does not resemble their household.
I hope to heaven she does.
ps With my whole heart, I believe in the caring of a fantastic teacher, the unconditional love of a grandparent, the nurturing from a neighbor and the ability to have a positive influence on a neglected child's life.
That quote is so true!
ReplyDeleteYes, so often the hard to love child is the one who needs it most.
DeleteSad and scary for the little girl.
ReplyDeleteIt becomes what you know and one learns to survive. Maladaptively but survive just the same.
Deletethat kid is going to be screwed up for life. :(
ReplyDeleteI hope that is not the case. You and I are doing all right. Well, at least I am trying.
DeleteOh my God this is heartbreaking! My niece turned out fine. Her mother, my sister was a drug addicted hot mess with bipolar disease who refuses her medications. My beautiful niece was born crack addicted. She has her masters in addiction/psychology now. It made her not want to be like her mom. So sometimes it goes the other way. Let's hope it does for this little girl. I would have called social services as the bartender. Can they do that?
ReplyDeleteIsn't it wonderous they way some people overcome? I wonder it she had a connection in her life that made her feel anchored even when your sister was at sea.
DeleteI agree with you Linda! A loving, caring influence is everything!
ReplyDeleteSomehow I can comment tonight!
How easy we can be that person.
DeleteOh wow! My heart is breaking! That is so horrifyingly sad to me!!! I am praying with you!
ReplyDeleteI know......it makes one feel so powerless at times.
DeleteMy heart ache's for that little girl - this is what she is learning as her "normal". Sure hope she gets some good examples and better support from day care, teachers, grandparents - someone!
ReplyDeleteStories like that hurt my heart. Poor little girl. As Brian said, her "normal" is going to be pretty torked out of shape.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDelete💜💜💜lily💜💜💜
DeleteI grew up in a family such as that. My moms last husband turned out to be a guiding light to all 6 kids, showing us the way real parents could be. I am forever thankful to him, may he rest in peace.
ReplyDelete