Much Ado About something

Did you learn how to fight?

Not physical fighting....the healthy kind. Did someone teach you that you can disagree, be angry or hurt and what to do with those feelings? I never learned that. I am learning now, at 55, to deal with those feelings but it is not easy.

When my partner does something that angers or hurts me, I tend to punish and threaten to banish instead to sitting down and explaining how much his actions hurt or angers me. I can be reactionary. It's not all that pleasant for me and I can imagine that it is not at all pleasant for him.

But I am aware and I am working on it because I want to be a good partner but, mostly, I just want to be a good me with a ton more peace.

So, did you learn how to fight? Do you React or Respond? Do you stick up for yourself or do you take on someone else's anger just to placate and diffuse the situation?

Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyNovember 3, 2018 at 3:49 AM

    I started learning how to fight at age 35, when I was diagnosed with cancer. cancer taught me to DEMAND respect; when I didn't get said respect, I wrote off that person and moved on. now NO ONE uses me as their personal doormat!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Marie SmithNovember 3, 2018 at 4:41 AM

    I am much better at responding these days than I was years ago. My mother used silence which I hated so I was more inclined to react verbally. Today I take some time and sort out how I feel and then respond fairly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 3, 2018 at 10:58 PM

      I hate the silence treatment. My mom did that too

      Delete
  3. MeanqueenNovember 3, 2018 at 5:37 AM

    I had to learn how to fight when at the age of 27 I became a lorry driver. That was in 1976. Some of the men were awful. They talk about bullying a lot these days but it's nothing to what I had to put up with.

    I stood my ground, retaliated, even though I was shaking in my boots. I won though, because I stuck it out, for 32 years, I loved my job, and no one had the right to stop me from doing it.

    I am a lot calmer these days, take my time to weigh things up, and often walk away from disagreements and conflict.

    ReplyDelete
  4. JeanieNovember 3, 2018 at 6:53 AM

    I never learned to fight as a child. An only child. No competition. And my parents didn't fight so I didn't see it. It remains my hardest thing to have to do but I have learned how to pick my battles when I must.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My life so farNovember 3, 2018 at 11:48 AM

    I was a yeller, a crier and a door slammer. The big guy and I rarely fight but I do have a difficult time disagreeing with people. I hate conflict because it brings up such strong emotions for me. I don't do well with stress and like the peaceful life I now I have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 4, 2018 at 4:50 AM

      I did my fair share of yelling. Im doing better about that.

      Delete
  6. BirdieNovember 3, 2018 at 1:07 PM

    I am learning too. My husband can be very cruel when we argue and then I slip back into my old ways. I am not blaming him. I just need to learn how to stay strong and have better ways of dealing with my own emotions when he is in one of his moods.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 4, 2018 at 4:51 AM

      I cannot is tell you how proud I am of you. You are such a strong woman.

      Delete
  7. MarthaNovember 3, 2018 at 4:12 PM

    It is something we learn and it can be hard. My ex was horrible, and very volatile, so fighting with him would lead to a world war. My present hubby is a gem and our communication is great. We listen to each other and try to see the other's perspective on things. It's not always easy when you're fuming but being happy is much more important than being right. We both let things slide sometimes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 4, 2018 at 4:54 AM

      Well, you’ve got the most amazing man in the world so.... I’m glad that you traded up Martha. You deserve it.

      Delete
  8. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)November 5, 2018 at 6:57 AM

    I don't think it was taught to me. It just is who I am.
    Does that make sense?

    ReplyDelete

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