Listen To Me.......

People have to tell their stories Elsa or they suffocate.

~Alf - My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry

That is how I see the new people that come to their first few ACA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) meetings. It's necessary to be heard and ACA meetings accept whatever you say no matter what you say. No CrossTalk.

Being heard feels good at first but if you don't do some work, eventually it does you no good. If we all healed just by talking, the world would be a far better place. Those talkers usually stop showing up. The desperate, like I was, stay, because anything is better than where you are. 

After a good long time, when I finally got the courage to say something I told my story. I needed to hear it out loud. I needed it to be audible because I still couldn't believe that what had happened was true. A fable, a work of fiction or someone else's life....not mine. I don't need to tell it anymore. It is just a story...it is not me.

If you still have issues from your childhood (it does not need to be alcoholism), you might give one a try. This is but one route to improve the situation. It's a good one.

Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyNovember 4, 2018 at 3:25 AM

    I shared my story with a psychologist. she helped me immensely. I am no longer the person I was.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 8, 2018 at 5:25 AM

      Thank goodness we don't have to stay in one place.

      Delete
  2. DUTANovember 4, 2018 at 4:57 AM

    I remember when my father was told by the doctor to quit smoking and alcoholic beverages. The next day , he just did that. No word, no rant, no support group, nothing ; only the power of his inner will.

    Well, it was another place, another time, another generation. Nowadays,without support and "talking out loud", things don't work. We're weak and more vulnerable, and so we need to try whatever means is available out there to improve the situation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 4, 2018 at 5:46 AM

      I consider myself a very strong woman. I’ve worked hard, loved much, taken my hits and persevered. To need to talk is not weak. It’s having the courage to say I need some help.

      Delete
    2. anonymousNovember 5, 2018 at 7:10 AM

      This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  3. JonoNovember 4, 2018 at 7:23 AM

    I used to attend AlAnon a number of years ago and because our town is so small all the aspects were combined. ACA and everything else, but it was all helpful, especially when you realize you are not alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 8, 2018 at 5:25 AM

      You watch others strive for peace and it gives you hope.

      Delete
  4. JeanieNovember 4, 2018 at 7:34 AM

    This is so true, Linda. And it relates to anything of significance, whether long in the past or the present. I think that's one reason why "me too" got so big so fast -- a lot of hidden stories. We need to remember that in everyday life, too -- when something is amiss or bothering us, to be able to share respectfully and openly. Easier said than done, though!

    Thanks for visiting the blog. I don't have your email so can't reply directly to your nice comments but they do mean a lot. Isn't Paris great?

    ReplyDelete
  5. BillNovember 4, 2018 at 11:32 AM

    It's good to talk and get whatever it is out in the open. Keeping it inside causes anxiety and other problems. Sharing your story could empower someone else to share theirs.
    Enjoy the new week, Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My Corner of the worldNovember 4, 2018 at 1:49 PM

    I agree and do believe talking and saying it out loud helps. When I feel that I can't talk about it I turn to writing, it helps too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 8, 2018 at 5:27 AM

      More and more, writing seems to bring a better me to the table.

      Delete
  7. MarthaNovember 4, 2018 at 2:59 PM

    Good stuff, Linda. Sometimes just listening to our own voice as we tell our story helps start the healing process. xo

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnnsterwNovember 5, 2018 at 5:58 AM

    I attend AA and we do the same. The healing takes place by sharing stories with others and lightening the load...none of us are unique - HUGS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dNovember 8, 2018 at 5:27 AM

      We are working the same program for different reasons. Sisters :)

      Delete
  9. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)November 5, 2018 at 6:40 AM

    I am so very damn glad this helped you. Everyone needs to find what works for them, because without it we are standing in one place aren't we? Only the weak don't move forward, so don't listen to that person please! You are strong broad. (I happen to LOVE that word) I went to a therapist. It still is a work in progress and I think it always will be to a point. But isn't it great that I like so many others wish to only improve to be the best version of me I can be? I just don't want to lose the ball buster in me because Rick wouldn't recognize me. :-)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

What do you have to say about that?

Popular posts from this blog

Private Eye

Image
We pass by the house frequently since it sits on a busy thoroughfare. We know to look every time we pass and guess what will we see. Will it be the two Dalmatians, sitting on the couch that backs up to the giant panel window, waiting for their human to come home? Or will it be their human, sitting slightly to the right of middle (allowing for a better view of the giant mounted tv across the room) of the said couch. They are never there at the same time. It’s one or the other. One sleepless night, when my body was willing but my brain was not, I did a little sleuthing. It’s amazing what you can find out about a complete stranger.   His name is Gary and, from what I can tell, he’s never been married. He has worked his way up in a air duct company. He’s now the senior VP but it’s a small company and he still goes out on jobs, judging from  the reviews on Yelp. I know he has two siblings and that their father passed away in 2018. His memorial was held in a Buddhist temple and Gary sr. soun
Read more

Go!

Image
 Vai. E, se der medo, vai con medo mesmo. When one is raised in an angry family, it’s not enough to say I don’t want to be angry. You must learn how to do it differently. That’s no easy task. If judgment and self hatred became a way of life, a new way to live has to be taught. There are many ways to do it. Reading, writing, sharing, practicing all help the change. Counseling, psychoanalysis, religion, meditation, gratitude, have the ability to transform but I needed to see it in action, it needed to be more tangible, visual, accessible. I needed to understand the possibilities. There is a YouTube channel that I watch over and over again in order to absorb how to live more fully, more open and from the heart. One of the first episodes that I stumbled on is this…. The channel is Reflections of Life and through it we get to meet people who are doing life a little differently, often more soul based. People who are living life, healing wounds and finding what is truly important.  It can be
Read more

Let's Be Perfectly Clear

I would like your input on this letter I am considering sending out. Darryl, I once considered you, if not a friend, a very friendly acquaintance. Our daughters are the same age. I am sure that your daughter is as special to you as mine is to me. McKenna is 21 years old and starting out her life with some tough situations. SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT. She is a person who has her ups and downs, her struggles and triumphs. She has, in the past year, completely alone, had to make scary medical decisions for her mentally ill, addicted father. She has had to watch as the man who was an amazing father slowly turn into a shell of a man who has little to give and much to take. Whether purposefully or accidentally, you have added to her already difficult year. I wonder…would you appreciate my ex-husband leering and making inappropriate comments to your daughter over the course of a long evening? Think about that for a moment!  What were you hoping to achieve with your behavior? Whether
Read more