Tired Of Saying I'm Sorry
The central question of a warriors
training is not how we avoid uncertainty and fear, but how we relate to
discomfort. How do we practice with difficulty, with our emotions, with the unpredictable
encounters of an ordinary day?
~ Pema Chodron
I am not afraid to go outside, ride in a car or even of spiders and snakes. My fears are far more primal. I have deep fear of feeling out of control and of being deceived. Sometimes I have no idea that fear is what is controlling my behavior. I eventually figure it out but, often times, it then requires the making of amends to the person or people involved.
I have made great headway but the awareness puts the spotlight on something that I was once blissfully ignorant of. That means some good hard work, learning to trust myself, dropping expectations of others and having compassion for the tender soul of the girl the lives inside of me still. She is a warrior in training.
"I have deep fear of feeling out of control and of being deceived." - that is what the guvmint WANTS us to feel! DON'T GIVE INTO IT! STAY ANGRY UNTIL 11/6!
ReplyDeleteAnne Marie!!!! November is coming. Hoping the young people get out and vote.
DeleteFear is a difficult thing when it’s not something you can touch or see. I do known that showing compassion to ourselves is the best thing we can do.
ReplyDeleteI agree!
DeleteKeep on learning about yourself, Warrior Woman.
ReplyDelete♥♥♥
DeleteHmm, that made me think. Doesn't everyone though have a fear that drives them? (And I don't mean my huge fear of cats) Isn't that sometimes a good thing? Boy now I have some thinkin' to do.
ReplyDeleteDO YOU???? Really fear cats??? I did not know. Now that is interesting.
DeleteThat is so true. What wonderful quotes!
ReplyDeleteI always thought - arrogantly, naively - that I had no primal fears but after being diagnosed with a serious autoimmune diseases, they all came to the surface, fear of death, of loneliness, of failure, of pain etc. Despite the fact that I am in good hands, medically speaking, so I don't run from these fears any longer.
There is a (tough) lesson in everything it seems.
I especially love that quote about having compassion for those unwanted parts of ourselves. I have a hard time doing that. I want to carve up the bits of myself and dispose of the nasty bits that I would rather not look at. Not really feasible. But this acceptance of my selfishness, my anger, my impatience, that's hard. I am always in awe of women who love themselves, even the hard bits. I guess this speaks volumes about how I judge others too because I judge myself constantly. Thank you for this. For making me think.
ReplyDeleteSomehow I missed seeing this post. You are a warrior! Thanks for making me believe that I too can be a warrior in training. From one blissfully ignorant soul to another. Thank you for this!
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