Objects
A while back the Boy Scout and I went out to dinner with another couple. They were his good friends and have become my friends too. The couple, both lawyers, are intelligent and engaging.
As we sat over dinner, the three of them talked about people they knew in common and how they were all doing. We got to a name I didn’t recognize and they started discussing a young gal that the Boy Scout had once worked with. I can’t remember how it was brought up but at some point our male friend mentioned that this young woman was the “Whole Package”. I remember asking, thinking I hadn’t heard clearly, what he had said. No, they confirmed, she was the whole package.
You know… I get that men don’t have to be feminists and I also get that the older guys don’t quite understand because society taught them how to behave and what to say but I have a few problems with this. Let’s not deal with the whole objectifying thing right now, but by sitting there at that table with two women whom they love and love them, and mentioning that the other woman was the “whole package”, it’s easy to infer that we were NOT the “whole package”. Now granted this girl did have a few things on us… She’s probably 20 years younger (Something that time will cure), and cute as a button (the adorable little nose supplied by a medical professional helped in that area), has a knock out figure (again with more than a little help) and a great job (of which I give her all the credit). Be that as it may, why do men feel so free to talk like that? I would never dream to sit there and say wistfully to my friend (with or without the men sitting right there), “Now there’s a REAL man. He’s got it all.”
Over sensitive? Perhaps but I’m ok with it.
I am the “whole package”. I am here, I love, I care about the human condition, I work my ass off… I am the WHOLE PACKAGE.
As we sat over dinner, the three of them talked about people they knew in common and how they were all doing. We got to a name I didn’t recognize and they started discussing a young gal that the Boy Scout had once worked with. I can’t remember how it was brought up but at some point our male friend mentioned that this young woman was the “Whole Package”. I remember asking, thinking I hadn’t heard clearly, what he had said. No, they confirmed, she was the whole package.
You know… I get that men don’t have to be feminists and I also get that the older guys don’t quite understand because society taught them how to behave and what to say but I have a few problems with this. Let’s not deal with the whole objectifying thing right now, but by sitting there at that table with two women whom they love and love them, and mentioning that the other woman was the “whole package”, it’s easy to infer that we were NOT the “whole package”. Now granted this girl did have a few things on us… She’s probably 20 years younger (Something that time will cure), and cute as a button (the adorable little nose supplied by a medical professional helped in that area), has a knock out figure (again with more than a little help) and a great job (of which I give her all the credit). Be that as it may, why do men feel so free to talk like that? I would never dream to sit there and say wistfully to my friend (with or without the men sitting right there), “Now there’s a REAL man. He’s got it all.”
Over sensitive? Perhaps but I’m ok with it.
I am the “whole package”. I am here, I love, I care about the human condition, I work my ass off… I am the WHOLE PACKAGE.
the thing in the whites-only house says this is ok cause it's "locker room talk".
ReplyDeleteMy woman’s group would have a field day with those words. I am angry just thinking about it.
ReplyDeleteThings like this upset me. There are very few men I know who behave like this, even in my age group and even older. It's disrespectful.
ReplyDeleteOh my! Must have been hard to take and difficult to know what to say in the situation. I would have had a hard time staying calm and responding appropriately.
ReplyDeleteMy wife would have said something to let the "boys" know that she didn't appreciate their objectifying comments.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, that wouldn't have bothered me. I understand though completely what you say. Yet, I would have laughed and said, with the help of science. But I wonder why that wouldn't have bothered me? But then again, I have said in front of men that so and so is a hunk-a-hunk-a burning love so there ya go. Bad Margaret.
ReplyDelete