What'd Ya Say? HUH?

Yesterday after leaving my ENT I had a good cry.

 I have vertigo. I have had it now since mid July. It was way worse (not being able to walk) and a little worse (not being able to drive) and now its liveable but not a ton of fun. I waited 6 weeks to get into that ENT but I already knew what she would say.
  • HER: no infection, looks healthy
  • ME: anything that can be done about the vertigo
  • HER: aside from an MRI (which I don't believe will reveal anything) make sure your eye prescription is up to date and you wear comfortable shoes
  • ME: the tinnitus....anything in the works being done to help that
  • HER: nothing noteworthy. you can use white noise or something that distracts your brain from focusing on the head noise
  • ME: here are my Audiograms from the last 10 years
  • HER: Oh WOW! your hearing is really bad
  • ME: is it?
  • HER: yes, you run from severe to moderately severe. (THAT'S NEWS TO ME)
  • ME: well at least it doesn't seem to be getting a lot worse every year.
  • HER: that's just not the case. See here where you go from 60 to 70? Each year a bit worse
I asked her to not recommend any further treatment (as if there was any) as I am going to have to be shopping for new insurance in a couple of months and it will only aggravate that process to have another preexisting condition. Hopefully the Affordable Care Act is still in place when I go to do my shopping.

I left and just felt sad. Knowing,already, how much I miss of conversations, especially at family events, plays, movies or when I notice someone's embarrassment at me answering the wrong question or asking a question that has just basically been answered due to my lack of comprehension of what has been said. 

Now I am doing better. It's all about attitude and I can wallow or move forward but it's also OK to grieve what I am losing, little by little, year by year.

Comments

  1. Marie SmithSeptember 7, 2018 at 7:26 AM

    Recognizing that you need to grieve is good. Give yourself time and as you said, attitude is everything!

    ReplyDelete
  2. DUTASeptember 7, 2018 at 8:31 AM

    You shouldn't rely on HER. Doctors, nurses, are tired, crowded , and even incompetent. If you know your issue/s try to get your info through Google. Chances are you'll come up with some idea that could help you. 'Playing' with Google can take time, but it's worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BirdieSeptember 7, 2018 at 10:01 AM

    Oh, Linda. This must be so upsetting. No. Upsetting isn’t close enough to the right word. It’s life changing. So sorry, dear one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dSeptember 7, 2018 at 1:22 PM

      it’s really ok Barbara. In a bad moment I get frustrated but otherwise I just get on with my life.

      Delete
  4. RosemarySeptember 7, 2018 at 10:28 AM

    Digital hearing aids have been my salvation - the sound quality is great and they are so tiny. They have opened up my world and made me feel whole again and less of an outsider - I wish that I had not waited so long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dSeptember 7, 2018 at 1:23 PM

      They make all the difference. I was embarrassed a bit when I first got them as I was a fairly young woman but now I never give them a thought until I get the battery signal in my ear.

      Delete
  5. My life so farSeptember 7, 2018 at 11:23 AM

    Have you tried Epley's maneuver? You can google it, helps with my vertigo.

    I'm going to get my hearing tested. There is a lot I don't hear I know. Or mishear which can be very awkward:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dSeptember 7, 2018 at 1:25 PM

      I did epleys in the beginning and it seemed to help. Once it lessened nothing seems to make a difference. Diet, excercises, etc. It just is there.

      Delete
    2. Linda dSeptember 7, 2018 at 1:25 PM

      Good luck with your test.

      Delete
  6. anne marie in phillySeptember 7, 2018 at 2:12 PM

    that ENT MD sounds hideous; she was blowing you off. when you get your new insurance, get a recommendation for a REAL ENT, someone who will listen to you. then get a hearing test. if you need a hearing aid, we won't laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. BillSeptember 7, 2018 at 2:14 PM

    You have a strong good attitude and that is great, Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  8. JeanieSeptember 7, 2018 at 3:19 PM

    You're right. It is about attitude. And it is about age. But what it is not is fun. I feel for you with the hearing and tinnitus. Or ambient noise. I need constant sound around all the time to distract me. Once I asked Rick if he could hear the noises in my head. I suppose it's good he couldn't.

    Thanks for your recent visits and nice comments. It's always good to see you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. coffeeontheporchwithmeSeptember 8, 2018 at 5:07 AM

    I'm so sorry for you. I do agree, however, that you should seek a new ENT. Here in Canada, it is so hard to find new doctors and it takes ages to see specialists, but maybe it's different for you?? There must be something that can be done to help, even a little bit. Take care. -Jenn

    ReplyDelete
  10. LollySeptember 8, 2018 at 6:54 AM

    I've been hard of hearing since I was a child. One too many ear infections, one too many eardrum ruptures caused permanent damage to my right ear. My family would get so angry when I didn't respond to their questions or if the TV was too loud or god forbid they were trying to talk to me at the same time the TV was on! My ENT (God bless that man) instructed me to tell them to "Rephrase the question, not repeat it." He said he's saved many a marriage with this advice. It's true. There is no nice way to shout Didn't you hear me? and not look and sound angry.
    My family used to repeat their questions in an overly loud slow way that felt insulting to me. I'd say to them "I am hard of hearing, not stupid."
    Also the tinnitus drives me right to the edge of madness sometimes. Using my headphones and listening to music helps. Mostly, I've just gotten used to the ringing and the high pitched whine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dSeptember 8, 2018 at 5:08 PM

      Me too, for the most part. Occasionally it becomes overwhelming. Headphones help a bunch. Rephrase don’t repeat is GREAT.

      Delete
  11. SabineSeptember 8, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    I often think that my tiny balance organs deep inside my inner ears are little volcanoes that erupt when everything gets too much. Other people get hives or stomach reflux or lower back ache - I get vertigo. So my immediate response (how could it be otherwise anyway) is to withdraw and rest until the cows come home. Take it as a sign etc. And find my personal point of stillness again. And again and again.

    But I also know that there are viral inflammations that can hit the vestibular nerve (a bit like herpes) and that takes ages to clear. Google vestibular neuritis and labyrinthitis.




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dSeptember 8, 2018 at 5:06 PM

      Does your doctor prescribe something for that?

      Delete
  12. SabineSeptember 8, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  13. SabineSeptember 9, 2018 at 1:00 AM

    It's slightly complicated in my case as I also have this f☆☆ing autoimmune vasculitis which most likely contributes/causes inflammation in the inner ears. So in the worst cases when I could neither stand nor crawl etc. I was on a high dose cortisone drip for 3 days in hospital. This has only happened twice. Worked wonders.

    There is however "inconclusive" medical research on the efficacy of cortisone but for me it always works and I usually take it for three days when an attack hits me and I can set the clock by it.
    Inconclusive evidence mainly due to the fact that it's not easy to conduct studies in emergency cases of vertigo. Symptoms are too short lived and too infrequent.

    ReplyDelete

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