Wednesday, August 15, 2018

Don't Be A Bob

Years ago I was helping the Secret Keeper (my ex) paint the ramshackle apartment that his aging grandmother and her husband Bob lived in. The apartment was tiny and Bob a heavy smoker. The once white walls were dingy gray yellow from years of nicotine, cooking and as a result of living on a busy street.

Annie was about 5 feet high, a bit rotund, with a perfect Santa Claus nose that often had a few hairs growing out of the top. She has a lovely twinkle in her eyes that showed her years on this planet with deep folds and wrinkles. Not too long after we finished painting, Annie ended up in a convalescent hospital where she would spend her remaining 8 years. Bob, finding himself alone for first time in 50 years, shot himself in the head, while sitting in his favorite recliner. He was not a very likeable guy and I do not believe that there was one person on this planet who was sad to see him go, which is one the biggest tragedies I can think of. The Secret Keeper and his dad had to go into that apartment afterward to remove any family items that remained. It was a pretty horrible experience for him but his dad, typical with his nature, took it like everything else in his life, with a tremendous disconnect.

A young friend of mine died a number of years back and he had touched so many lives that they had to rent out a local theater to accommodate everyone that wanted to pay their respects. It is my desire to touch lives and have my essence remain....I don't want to be a Bob.

12 comments:

  1. I've thought about this. I'm not going to be there when I'm gone so I won't know who shows up at the funeral. But while I'm alive, it would be great to connect with at least a few people.

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    1. A few good people would be great. I don't need a theater.

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  2. Poor Bob. How tragic even though it was of his own doing.

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    1. Very much so. I feel nothing but empathy. He was raised in the south with little education, little resources and not a lot of nurturing. It showed.

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  3. wow that is so sad, so very sad. I don't want that life.

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  4. Very sad to be a Bob. It does take effort and commitment to have friends. Sad that he didn't know that.

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    1. Harder for some more than others but well worth the effort

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  5. I doubt I anyone want to be Bob. I don't want to sound unemphathy toward this but it sounds a little co-dependent.
    Stop in from Biekkriebels and if you find the time stop in for a cup of coffee.

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  6. I don't want to be a Bob either. I fear that Rick's stepfather is a Bob. We all dread the someday-funeral and that just isn't the way it should be.

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    1. I wish they could see there’s a better way.

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  7. A well known and socially active gentleman in our area recently died. He did a lot to help the poor. I was struck by how much he is mourned and will be missed and contrasted that with the Orange Menace in the White House. Will that person’s demise rate more than a huff from any of us, save his youngest?
    I believe our greatest good is to help others, always remembering, “ There but for the grace of God...”
    Joyce

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  8. It's said Bob didn't get some help when he obviously needed it. Still, it's sad to be like Bob and there are probably many more like him.

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