Let Go
Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Have you ever been to a meeting? It is an interesting place. You hear stories, hard stories of pain, love, abuse and neglect. But most, not all, are there for healing. For some, it is just too early for that. Some people come and just want to be heard. Healing isn't on their radar. And for a few, they are just too damaged, they only come to list every hurt, every snub....they come for the pity. Hopefully, they will figure it out. That is not what ACA is about. Not PITY.
ACA is about self love, setting boundaries, caring for your inner child (who can get in the way of a happy life). It's about not relying on others to make you whole.
We share our experience, strength and hope in order to heal and, while doing so, give someone else the hope that they too have a chance for a better, more peaceful life..
Not all meetings are healthy. It is said that you should try out 6 different meetings before deciding on one that fits you. I started in Al-Anon and it gave me some wonderful tools but its greatest gift to me was forgiveness. When I learned to forgive myself, forgiving others fell into place beautifully. It also taught me what unconditional love really looks like. It freed me up to love my kids in an authentic, tangible way without pretense or expectation.
With the Secret Keeper out of my life (for the most part), I have moved on to ACA. It is more appropriate for me but I would recommend either one. My current ACA is a writing meeting. We get a prompt and then spend a 1/2 hour writing on that prompt. Afterwards we can share or not. I always do but not to be heard. I hope my story can resonate with someone, perhaps give them hope, start a conversation. I go to hear others, grow in wisdom and keep all I have learned on the surface so I do not backtrack (which I do frequently).
Backtracking is ok. I am OK. Even though all is not perfect in my world....I am OK.
PS. You don't need an addict or an alcoholic to benefit from Al-Anon or ACA. Honestly, it is the cheapest therapy you will ever receive.
Have you ever been to a meeting? It is an interesting place. You hear stories, hard stories of pain, love, abuse and neglect. But most, not all, are there for healing. For some, it is just too early for that. Some people come and just want to be heard. Healing isn't on their radar. And for a few, they are just too damaged, they only come to list every hurt, every snub....they come for the pity. Hopefully, they will figure it out. That is not what ACA is about. Not PITY.
ACA is about self love, setting boundaries, caring for your inner child (who can get in the way of a happy life). It's about not relying on others to make you whole.
We share our experience, strength and hope in order to heal and, while doing so, give someone else the hope that they too have a chance for a better, more peaceful life..
Not all meetings are healthy. It is said that you should try out 6 different meetings before deciding on one that fits you. I started in Al-Anon and it gave me some wonderful tools but its greatest gift to me was forgiveness. When I learned to forgive myself, forgiving others fell into place beautifully. It also taught me what unconditional love really looks like. It freed me up to love my kids in an authentic, tangible way without pretense or expectation.
With the Secret Keeper out of my life (for the most part), I have moved on to ACA. It is more appropriate for me but I would recommend either one. My current ACA is a writing meeting. We get a prompt and then spend a 1/2 hour writing on that prompt. Afterwards we can share or not. I always do but not to be heard. I hope my story can resonate with someone, perhaps give them hope, start a conversation. I go to hear others, grow in wisdom and keep all I have learned on the surface so I do not backtrack (which I do frequently).
Backtracking is ok. I am OK. Even though all is not perfect in my world....I am OK.
PS. You don't need an addict or an alcoholic to benefit from Al-Anon or ACA. Honestly, it is the cheapest therapy you will ever receive.
A writing meeting -- I've never heard of that variation before -- interesting!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're okay!
ReplyDeleteYou said all was not perfect in your world - no ones world is perfect. Don't strive for perfection, just be happy and relax and enjoy the journey. You are learning more than most!! I think you rock.
The writing experience sounds wonderful. I know there is Al-anon here but I haven’t heard of ACA meetings.
ReplyDeleteThey have been very helpful.
DeleteI haven't actually. I probably should've years ago....but for the most part, I've reconciled my issues decades ago. The important thing is dad got into AA, and had been 'out of (drinking) trouble' for decades before he died. Glad it's been helping you!
ReplyDeleteI’m glad you are doing really well and so glad that both our dads got sober.
DeleteI paid for my 4 years of therapy and it helped me a great deal.
ReplyDeleteI know you did hard work for your peace Anne Marie. I am in awe of you.
DeleteI remember when my father was told by his doctor to stop smoking. The next day, he just did that without any fuss. Were it alcohol he would have done the same. It was a matter of self-discipline, of inner strength for him. I too believe in self-discipline when it comes to getting rid of some addiction. I had to shed some pounds and I did it alone without any help from Weight Watchers or similar centers. However, centers for helping those with addictions can sometimes save lives.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that it helps people and writing can be good therapy.
ReplyDeleteI have found Al Anon one of the most amazing places to be ever. And it’s FREE! People pay thousands to “professionals” to get the same sort of help.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteI'm so glad you found this and at a time when you needed it most. I've not been but others I know swear by it and you, too. So grateful for you.
ReplyDelete