Hear, Hear!
Every once in a while I wonder as somebody will actually say to me, “How lucky you are to not have to hear this or that.” I think, only to myself, is your imagination so small that when you think of hearing loss you can only think of a benefit. How gloriously ridiculous. Do you say to the man with the wheelchair, “How lucky you are to be pushed around.”? And, do you say to the woman missing her left arm, “Isn’t it great you only need to have half a manicure?” I am in the process of losing my hearing. It is still here, albeit defective, but only barely without the hearing aids. Only louder, indiscernible sounds enter into the outer canal and get turned into something the brain perceives as recognizable. With the hearing aids, I am doing ok. Most the time I don’t complain as it does no good. Once in awhile, In certain circumstances, it becomes clear to me that I’m missing out. On those occasions, depending on what they are, I can either speak up and ask for the group at large to speak louder or I do as many do, and just let it slide. It is easier but it is frustrating. I, too, want to connect and be a part of.
The other day a friend on the golf course joked about me not having to hear something etc. etc. etc. While at times I can take a joke just like the next guy, when it comes on the heels of spending a number of hours on the golf course not being able to understand a single thing anyone is saying, and feeling slightly isolated by that fact, I don’t think it’s all that funny. My lovely, fun Boy Scout, who can give and take jokes with the very best of them, has learned that lack of hearing is only funny sometimes. Like when he farts in my general direction and is surprised by a smack on the head when, for one reason or another, I do hear it. Other times he is my superhero and advocate. When reacting to said friend and his careless comment, he spoke his understanding to me and it was nice to be known. Most people just think it would be nice not to hear certain things that annoy their world. I get it, I really do. If only, if only… if only there was silence. I haven’t heard silence in over 25 years. For those of you with tinnitus you know exactly what I’m talking about. It first presented itself with a low-frequency hum that sounds much like the beach on a very windy day. A few years later, a high-pitched tone was added to the low pitch. Listen to this time set at 2,450 to hear what I hear 24/7. The left ear pitch is very high, the right not quite as much. When stressed, when crying, when my heart rate is high, or when my hearing aids are out, the sound is deafening. Meaning I can hear very little else. Not silence as one might imagine but loud tones like a never ending serenade of a single chord on a church organ.
I’m not exactly complaining. I have learned to live with this and will continue to do so with the help of a very supportive community BUT it’s not helpful when some people make light of it. Our bodies were designed to use all of our senses to make sense of the world around us. When one is compromised you find yourself having to adapt or get angry. I’ll keep adapting but as a person who loves to connect to those around me on a deep level, this can definitely hinder the way.
Ps. All that being said, a day on the course is a good day and I certainly don’t let it ruin the whole thing. Life is pretty good.
The other day a friend on the golf course joked about me not having to hear something etc. etc. etc. While at times I can take a joke just like the next guy, when it comes on the heels of spending a number of hours on the golf course not being able to understand a single thing anyone is saying, and feeling slightly isolated by that fact, I don’t think it’s all that funny. My lovely, fun Boy Scout, who can give and take jokes with the very best of them, has learned that lack of hearing is only funny sometimes. Like when he farts in my general direction and is surprised by a smack on the head when, for one reason or another, I do hear it. Other times he is my superhero and advocate. When reacting to said friend and his careless comment, he spoke his understanding to me and it was nice to be known. Most people just think it would be nice not to hear certain things that annoy their world. I get it, I really do. If only, if only… if only there was silence. I haven’t heard silence in over 25 years. For those of you with tinnitus you know exactly what I’m talking about. It first presented itself with a low-frequency hum that sounds much like the beach on a very windy day. A few years later, a high-pitched tone was added to the low pitch. Listen to this time set at 2,450 to hear what I hear 24/7. The left ear pitch is very high, the right not quite as much. When stressed, when crying, when my heart rate is high, or when my hearing aids are out, the sound is deafening. Meaning I can hear very little else. Not silence as one might imagine but loud tones like a never ending serenade of a single chord on a church organ.
I’m not exactly complaining. I have learned to live with this and will continue to do so with the help of a very supportive community BUT it’s not helpful when some people make light of it. Our bodies were designed to use all of our senses to make sense of the world around us. When one is compromised you find yourself having to adapt or get angry. I’ll keep adapting but as a person who loves to connect to those around me on a deep level, this can definitely hinder the way.
Ps. All that being said, a day on the course is a good day and I certainly don’t let it ruin the whole thing. Life is pretty good.
people suck. we all have our infirmities as we age. I am glad hearing aids help you, linda.
ReplyDeleteI am one of the lucky ones for sure!
DeleteOne of the most influential people in my life was a deaf woman who lost her hearing from measles at age three. I loved her from my earliest years and learned so much from her.
ReplyDeleteI have one word for you Linda. Respect!
I would love to hear this story Marie.
DeleteI had no idea; I'm sorry you are having to go through this, including the insensitive jerks.
ReplyDeleteIt really is ok. Most of the time I manage just fine.
DeleteMy Mom lost gradually her sight(due to glaucoma) and her hearing (due to the hit of a rifle during the war). It was through her struggle that I got to learn of how helpless and hopeless conventional medicine was. It offers no prevention, no cure - just means to not letting the condition deteriorate,and cope somehow - even this up to a certain phase.
ReplyDeleteI encourage people in the risk group (including myself)to look for possible remedies in the alternative medicine, and not lose hope in preventing and reversing health issues.
That must have been so hard for your mother.
DeleteI have tinnitus as well. It is noisy. And loss of hearing, or any form of communication is isolating. My youngest can't talk and people assume she is stupid. She is delayed but definitely not stupid. People make all kinds of erroneous assumptions. I had a patient the other day with no tongue, removed due to cancer, so she couldn't talk. I asked her if people assumed she couldn't do anything for herself because she couldn't talk. She nodded yes and I apologized to her for making the same assumption myself.
ReplyDeleteHave looking into ASL? It is a beautiful language.
We have discussed taking classes. I keep putting it off. Perhaps I am being an Ostrich.
DeleteSo sorry to hear this, especially about people who lack the tact gene and make insensitive remarks!
ReplyDelete99.9% of the time it is all good. I'm a happy gal.
DeleteI'm sorry to hear about this. I don't think it would be good to not hear. Besides it being an incredible rude thing to say. I am having some difficulties as I age, but nothing like what you are going through. I am finding that I am always asking, what did she say? It's not fun, but I will no longer complain. I took sign language and don't get to use it. Have you thought about doing that or is that too difficult to imagine? My husband and I were signing at an Aeorsmith concert. Only because it was difficult to speak to one another over the noise. Skid Row opened for them and we didn't care for them so we were "chatting" We did hear the kids behind us say, "Wow why do you think deaf people would go to a concert?" Their conversation was hysterical!! I may have to write about that now that I think of it. Gee thanks Linda..tee hee ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteThis is a wonderful post and bravo for you for bringing it up and reminding us all that there are so many things we miss when not all systems are go -- and being reminded by another with the guise of being lucky is not that at all.
ReplyDeleteI have had tinnitus for a good 15 years or more. Once I asked Rick if he could hear the noises in my head, they felt so loud. Your story may one day be mine. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this -- and grateful that the Boy Scout has shown some sensitivity toward it.
I feel for you. I have tinnitus in the form of a ringing in both ears, 3100 hz in the left, 3300 in the right. Broke down and finally saw a doctor to get the tinnitus 'cured'. Walked out with hearing aids. Can hear better, don't miss nearly as much, but will never get rid of the tinnitus. Dang it.
ReplyDeleteStill, what that person said - not cool. Just didn't think through the impact of his comment. Sure, maybe some things are best left unheard, but the majority of sounds need to be heard, enjoyed even.