By The By

I’m at Lowe’s today, starting another little project. I’ll post a picture when I’m done.

I think I mentioned before that there is something about Lowe’s that brings on a feeling of melancholy. I’m happy in my life now, things are better than they’ve ever been before. But today, as I walk around, that feeling lingers. That slight sense of sadness. Ive got all the stuff I need and am starting towards the register when I see him…..an addict. Walking through Lowe’s as if everything is normal but all the signs are there. He looks to be between 35 and 40, but could possibly be 30 as that life style takes its toll. He’s tall or maybe not as tall as I think because he is so bloody thin.  Jerky movements and the nervous behavior are a few of the tell tell signs. And, of course, the face sores.

I have to admit there was a time, in my younger days, when I would probably be a little judgemental  and wary. I am still wary but there’s a big piece of me that thinks about my kids father and their tremendous love for him. That changes the narrative. Now I mainly feel empathy and as I relay what’s going on to my oldest she says she hopes someone feeds him a good meal or his family calls him. Kind of how I felt… I wish I could love on him and that it would change things. The only thing that really changes the situation is when one learns to love themself. And that, my friend, is a very hard lesson to learn.