It Is What It Is

I think I may have mentioned that long before the Secret Keeper got sick he was an incredible father. Engaged and loving, he worked hard at doing the right thing with our kids. He played games, told stories, said prayers, attended all sporting events, brushed their teeth, soothed their tears, etc, etc, etc. Basically, he was pretty amazing.

That was a long time ago and now he is trouble. Big trouble. How I ache for my kids to have had this wonderful dad and now are forced to think about his health, mental and physical, living arrangements, and now, court dates. The two boys know a little of what happened but they don't ask questions so I don't bring it up. I am sure the distance makes that easier. My oldest is doing some incredible self care which means she involves herself when it is healthy for her to do so. My youngest is walking a path of self discovery and learning boundaries. It is a intricate dance that may be years of learning and, most probably, pain.

I know little of the legal system except the basics. Did you know that when you get picked up for something rather big, it comes with a big bill....a really big bill? I had no idea. And some of those who cannot afford it can do community service (that is if they are physically able).

This man's situation keeps going from bad to worse. I cannot help but feel responsible and the feeling of guilt sucks.

The Boy Scout is supportive and loving. It helps that I do not have to hide these feelings I have about the Secret Keeper. It helps that I have someone who has a tremendous amount of compassion for the situation to bounce my ever changing emotions off of. It also helps to write it down.




Comments

  1. Marie SmithMay 8, 2018 at 9:20 AM

    It can’t be easy balancing your own feelings about the situation and then being there for your kids. Take care Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)May 8, 2018 at 10:02 AM

    I don't follow about the big thing but assume arrest. If that is it, who knew? I guess I haven't been in that big of trouble before.
    But it's early yet.
    A blog is a wonderful place to write it out and feel it.
    The community is a soft place to fall. ((hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  3. anne marie in phillyMay 8, 2018 at 3:30 PM

    ain't nothing you can do, girl. the secret keeper is a big boy. if he is in trouble with the law, he got himself there, so he must get himself out. no need for you to feel guilty either.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Debra She Who SeeksMay 8, 2018 at 7:09 PM

    Addiction is tough on everyone, that's for sure. Self-care and boundaries are very wise practices.

    ReplyDelete
  5. JeanieMay 9, 2018 at 5:04 PM

    I'm pretty sure the guilt you feel is the guilt we all feel like we should have "done something." But the fact is, at a certain point in life, an individual is responsible for his choices and decisions which unfortunately, wreak havoc on others. I admire your honesty and I respect your kids as well as you for taking good care.

    ReplyDelete

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