Breath...Breath

I move my office tomorrow. My new office, for $500.00 a month, is in an attractive building with 30 other people that are running their small-ish businesses behind 30 closed doors. It's fine. It will be fine.

 Meanwhile, each box I fill aches a little. I am having a hard time holding back the tears. My marketing business provides for me well but has little heart. My side business (the one that is ending) provided friendship, support and a chance to be "Momish" to a bunch of young people that had a fire in their hearts for gamers all over the world. I will miss them...I miss them already.

 In addition to that, I am struggling because the Boy Scout has lied to me again. I don't want to make it sound bigger than it is. Truly, sometimes he lies because I have been controlling in an inappropriate way but it is a lie just the same. Two imperfect people trying to work things out. After living with the Secret Keeper even smallest of lies are difficult. Sort of like sitting in a boat shaking from small ripples on the top of the water with the knowledge that they are being caused by a massive alligator just below the surface, waiting to attack me, getting ready to make me bleed.

 Tomorrow will be better....no wait.....tomorrow I will move. Friday will be better. Friday will be a new start, a new beginning. I get to choose whether I fight it tooth and nail or embrace it like a new friend who is interesting and full of potential.

 It will be better.





Comments

  1. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)May 2, 2018 at 8:26 AM

    I don't know what you did or what your new job is but I hope it brings you fulfillment. Change is so damn difficult.

    As for lies, I don't want them even with good intentions.
    I am of the ilk that I would prefer to be hurt with the truth than a lie.
    But everyone is different. Remember to go live your truth, expect and demand respect as you give it and don't let others lie to you for any reason. Talk it out. We need to go have a talk over drinks :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Marie SmithMay 2, 2018 at 12:05 PM

    I hope this move will be a great move for you and that it opens a new and exciting chapter and possibilities you hadn’t imagined.

    ReplyDelete
  3. MarthaMay 2, 2018 at 3:11 PM

    Sending you hugs and wishing you better days ahead xo

    ReplyDelete
  4. Notes From ABroadMay 2, 2018 at 7:09 PM

    Thinking of you
    Wishing you Good Luck
    Life will get bright and magical again
    C

    ReplyDelete
  5. JeanieMay 3, 2018 at 6:12 AM

    Hang in there. It will be fine. And you can make connections with your other colleagues part of your life if you both make it a point. Lunch or dinner -- I have one group from work of about six or eight and we meet monthly for dinner, about 90 minutes to two hours. We get caught up and then off we go till next time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dMay 4, 2018 at 8:22 AM

      I like the idea of keeping in touch over dinner. I may have to set that up.

      Delete
  6. BillMay 3, 2018 at 1:51 PM

    Wishing you lots of luck and happiness as you begin a new chapter in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  7. LollyMay 4, 2018 at 5:24 AM

    I'm not sure if you'll want to hear my grouchy opinion or not. A lie from the Boy Scout...for real??? When he knows your history? It made me want to growl...like a dog giving a warning. Can you, did you, will you be able to, talk it out with him? I'm curious to know his reasoning behind it. If it's the second time he's lied, I doubt it's you or your controlling nature. Sorry I seem to sound like a grouch but lies undo me.... they make me crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Marilyn MillerMay 4, 2018 at 10:46 AM

    Good for you for naming it and moving on. You are very brave.

    ReplyDelete
  9. JonoMay 5, 2018 at 7:13 PM

    Start each day fresh is a good idea. I will try harder.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My life so farMay 12, 2018 at 8:01 PM

    I have a problem with lies. I used to lie to people, to protect myself, to not hurt people (or so I thought), because I was ashamed of what I had done. I don't lie anymore and it's so much easier. I like myself a lot better.

    ReplyDelete

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