Portland Still Has A Piece of My Heart
My son called me yesterday. We exchanged quick greetings and instantly, despite his effort to hide it, I could tell something was wrong.
He graduated in May, double major in developmental economics and math, his goal being the non-profit world. Second in his class, he did everything right. He got a job on campus where he made himself invaluable by making the work of others easier. The ladies grew to love him so much they attended his senior project presentation and graduation, gave him wonderful recommendations and cried when they said goodbye. He saved his money carefully by living on campus the entire time and doing other odd jobs. He got praise and internships from his advisors and professors.
I think he thought it would be a little easier than it's been though. In Portland he attends meet and greets, submits resumes, sits on community committees and attends non-profit board meetings but has yet to be offered a job that would pay both rent AND food.
We talked of his discouragement, recognizing that it's a feeling and it's ok to feel it. We spoke of staying present, remembering what we are grateful for and trusting.
Finally taking a deep breath he asked me for the one thing he had tried so hard to not have to ask. Through sobs, he asked if he could use my credit card to buy some groceries. In his head, somehow, he had defined asking for help as failure. I reminded him of the love that, hopefully, he will one day experience....the incredible love of a parent for their child. I reminded him that he was not lazy or irresponsible or entitled, which could make a parent wonder if they are doing the right thing. I let him know I'm am incredibly grateful for having the ability to help and that it would do my heart good.
Keeping good thoughts for a job, good enough, fabulous, challenging or otherwise. A job where he can show someone his tremendous work ethic and feel like he's, at least, on the first step towards a brighter future.
He graduated in May, double major in developmental economics and math, his goal being the non-profit world. Second in his class, he did everything right. He got a job on campus where he made himself invaluable by making the work of others easier. The ladies grew to love him so much they attended his senior project presentation and graduation, gave him wonderful recommendations and cried when they said goodbye. He saved his money carefully by living on campus the entire time and doing other odd jobs. He got praise and internships from his advisors and professors.
I think he thought it would be a little easier than it's been though. In Portland he attends meet and greets, submits resumes, sits on community committees and attends non-profit board meetings but has yet to be offered a job that would pay both rent AND food.
We talked of his discouragement, recognizing that it's a feeling and it's ok to feel it. We spoke of staying present, remembering what we are grateful for and trusting.
Finally taking a deep breath he asked me for the one thing he had tried so hard to not have to ask. Through sobs, he asked if he could use my credit card to buy some groceries. In his head, somehow, he had defined asking for help as failure. I reminded him of the love that, hopefully, he will one day experience....the incredible love of a parent for their child. I reminded him that he was not lazy or irresponsible or entitled, which could make a parent wonder if they are doing the right thing. I let him know I'm am incredibly grateful for having the ability to help and that it would do my heart good.
Keeping good thoughts for a job, good enough, fabulous, challenging or otherwise. A job where he can show someone his tremendous work ethic and feel like he's, at least, on the first step towards a brighter future.
What a wonderful young man!.He sounds like he will be a strong asset wherever he works. My niece was in a similar situation. She took a one-year job through Americorps. It didn't pay a lot, but it did give her a start in the non-profit world and opened a number of doors for her. I hope for the best for him.
ReplyDeleteI believe that is his back up plan.
DeleteIt is not easy for our young people today. It won't be long and your son will find the right job Iray!
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to it. :)
DeleteWhat an amazing calling to work in non profit! The world needs people like your son.
ReplyDeleteMy mom and dad helped me buy groceries foe many years. It’s what parents do. And when he is a dad of grown children he will help them.
I think you may be right. It's sad when young people can only afford to rent rooms instead of tiny apartments.
DeleteSomeday the shoe will be on the other foot. He sounds like a good kid.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward for that day.....it'll be good for his heart to be gainfully employed.
DeleteI remember how tough the transition is from university to the work force. It's a tough world out there and easy to get discouraged. I hope he hangs in there and keeps striving -- it will pay off eventually, I'm sure. Best wishes to him!
ReplyDeleteThanks Debra.....welcome back.
DeleteYour son sounds to be a wonderful, thoughtful young man, and I hope that he soon finds a post that is worthy of him.
ReplyDeleteSounds like slightly similar story i have about my son .
ReplyDeleteHe left for Germany to do his masters on self finance which was HUGE amount of money according to our currency yet after his bachelors he got job in best software company in Pakistan which is know and spread internationally . After just one year job he collected the amount to transfer in his new account in Germany where he can stay on his own expenses though education is free.
He is there since two weeks and his account will take at least a month to be access it is making us worry as may he will be able to manage with money he has in pocket until account is accessed .
Big relief about that is he is staying with his best friends and can borrow from one of his best buddy in case he needs .though still we offer him help but he says that he is okay and we should not be worry about him anymore .who can understand the depth of concerns that parents have for their kids