Building A Head Of Steam

My youngest is a teeny little 21-year-old. She could easily be mistaken for about 14. She took a job the other day helping out a woman she knew that was throwing a Halloween party. She and a friend of hers we're going to bartend.

Apparently it wasn't terribly complicated since not too many 21-year-olds would know their way around a real bar. Some whiskey, some shots, some rum and Coke,  etc. etc.  When the guests started arriving she was pleased to realize that she knew a number of them.... parents of friends of hers. In addition, our former neighbors Annie and Darryl were there. These are people that are not necessarily close friends but ones that I know well. I served on the PTA with them,  our kids went to the same elementary, middle and high schools, I'm friends with tons of people at their church. The three of them, my daughter, Annie and Darrly, spent some time catching up as the party began.

Quickly my daughter notice that this former neighbor was staring at her and not in a fatherly way. At first she just laughed off his comments and looks and then it got not funny. Afterwhile she pretended like she didn't see him leering but what she said to me was that he was just a "dirty guy."

I'm pissed off!!  I know this man. We've spent time together. His daughter is the same fricken age as mine.  Where the hell does he get off and what the hell is he thinking?

Not only that, I've told a select few people and they've disappointed me in acting as if it's really not a big deal. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  What a PUKE!!!  What gives any man the idea that it is ok to cause a woman to feel such discomfort? I don't give a crap how much he's been drinking. No excuse! I'd love to give him a piece of my mind. He better hope I don't run into him in the very near future, before I have a chance to cool down. 

Comments

  1. anne marie in phillyOctober 31, 2017 at 2:38 AM

    "really not a big deal" - OH HELL NO! that's how men belittle/put down/rape us. SPEAK UP NOW! don't drop the mic on this one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dOctober 31, 2017 at 7:08 AM

      The only reason I did not message him is my Al-Anon teaching says this is her battle and taking it up without permission is making her feel voiceless.

      Delete
  2. Margaret (Peggy or Peg too)October 31, 2017 at 6:47 AM

    This was my whole life until old. So my words to your young daughter would be to ask, "Why are you looking at me like that. You're giving me the creeps. Don't make me say something to the host and hostess and your wife." Trust me it will stop. I suffered a great deal as a young girl. I was 14 in a sophia vergara body always trying to hide myself. When I finally stood up to men, it was shocking how they ALL ran. Don't let them take your power is my other advice. Speak up loudly and in her situation she could have said it in front of a bunch and made him look the fool in front of his friends. I'm sorry this happened to her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda dOctober 31, 2017 at 7:06 AM

      And I am sorry that it happened to you. I am going to share this with her. Thank you.

      Delete
  3. Marie SmithOctober 31, 2017 at 10:36 AM

    I hear you Linda! Enough of this behaviour! Alcohol is no excuse! Margaret has the right idea and did the right thing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BirdieOctober 31, 2017 at 10:45 AM

    I am with Anne Marie on this one and I understand your reason for not taking this further but I think sometimes young women need direction on how to deal with stuff like this. My own daughter often asks me how to deal with situations where I have more wisdom. Of course you can’t force her but standing by as a friend to support her and offer her encouragement might be helpful. She will be in situations like this the rest of her life and you know better how to deal with it than she does.

    ReplyDelete
  5. MarthaOctober 31, 2017 at 6:05 PM

    UGH! I'm totally with you on this. NOT A BIG DEAL? This is why we have rape culture. Women are made to feel uncomfortable with this type of behaviour and society is not necessarily supportive in standing up against it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. RosemaryNovember 1, 2017 at 11:30 AM

    That attitude is exactly why so many men get away with behaving so badly.
    Thank goodness your daughter was grownup and sensible enough to realise and also to confide in you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. JonoNovember 1, 2017 at 11:55 AM

    Tell his wife loudly so that everyone can hear what he is doing. Jackass.

    ReplyDelete
  8. ColetteNovember 1, 2017 at 1:59 PM

    Trust your judgment.

    ReplyDelete

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