You are not me, When I react to something or share how I feel about something and you don't happen to like or agree with it, please don't dismiss me or scoff at my feelings.
You were not married to your father. You do not have a wife's point of view. You were and are a daughter. We do not have the same experience. You never had a shared future with him. Your future was your own. My future had been promised to him and I took that promise to heart. If I do not like it when he arbitrarily shows up places, or texts me inappropriate things, I am not being stupid or dramatic. I am being me...the person who lived with him for 34 years and needed to change her dreams and aspirations in order to move forward.
His drive bys, showing ups and telling me how much he loves and misses me, cause me to feel, not only discomfort, but it also pain. Perhaps it is guilt, yes...it's probably a good portion of guilt but I'd just rather not have that kind of interaction. I have to move forward in the best way possible. If you see me misstep, and I don't ask you for help, then allow me to make my way. I am doing pretty good. If I ask you for help, then do it in a kind way. Helping me to understand from your point of view is far preferable to mocking.
Love from Mamallama